Our Warrior

          How many times does God have to tell us to trust and lean on him until we finally do? I sometimes think how patient God must be to constantly wait on me and remind me of the same things over and over.... He has our life in His hands, He has our future, our health, our careers, our finances, and our families in His hands. He knows just what is going to happen and He knows just when Satan's attacks will come. He knows that without His strength we will not make it. I can't imagine how many times I break my Fathers heart when I search for answers else where, or when I worry myself sick because my trust is lacking... I can't imagine how He desires for me to look to Him for ALL of my answers. Although I know we find our strength when we come to Him, distractions come in and pull us away, making us vulnerable to the enemies attacks. 

         I can not express how important it is for us to recognize when the enemy attacks and how important it is when that terrible demon and liar, from the very pits of hell comes to us and tries to over take us, our lives and our faith! He attacks Gods people every day, every min, every second and there can be no shelter found to get away from this demon! Our answers will not be found and our problems will never dissapear with the use of a drink or bottle, there is not a single drug that can make us forget or get away; we can run as far and as fast as we want, we can move across the country, start a new life with not a single familiar face but that will not keep us from the attacks of Satan. A physical army does not exist to protect us from this enemy. There is only one escape, there is only one sword, there is only one army that protects us from this enemy. This army, this hero, this warrior, this sword can only be seen through faith. He can only be seen when we stop looking for our answers, for our shelter, for our hope, for our change in every thing else and we run straight to Him. He works to defend His people and His children like no other leader ever will or ever could. He is a warrior that fights our hardest battles; He is the one that fights our cancer, that fights divorce, that fights for families, battered women, homeless, orphans and widows. This amazing Warrior, Father, symbol of love fights for both Christians and for the people who have not yet found Him. This Warrior and true All mighty Leader is the one all people are in search of, He is the answer we all so desperately need and He is the only "change" there can or ever will be. 

           I have been so broken and just, pure angry at the enemy for everything that he has tried to do in my life and in my families lives. My heart breaks for people who do not see that we do not have to fight Satan on our own, we can't, we will lose every time. 

       A few weeks back, it was the night before I left to go to Honduras to do some missions; I  was driving back to Fort Rucker. I was not packed at all, I was making my mental list of things to do and out of nowhere my eyelid started to fall.  It was not nearly as bad as before but I had been praying, I had been teaming up with God and letting Him fight this for me and I honestly thought it was gone. I have had a remarkable turn around from what the Doctors have told me with Ocular Myasthenia and I have been so thankful for our Lords healing touch and power and for the prayer warriors He has placed in my life; But when my eye started drooping, I thought "oh no God! What have I done?" Beside the fact, I was exhausted, stressed, and had not been eating like I should or taking my meds like I should, I thought, "Oh no God, I have gotten back to this? I'm starting all over again, I thought this was gone?"  Then It was like He said "Leslie it is not what you have done wrong, but what you are doing right..." The devil is in such a race to take souls down with him, that he will do anything and the more we do for God and His Kingdom the harder the enemy works on us.  As the tears came down I began to pray out loud. I began to worship out loud and God went to war for me right there and then in my car. I was so mad at the devil, through Jesus name I let him have it! With every word I prayed to God I could just visualize God giving that stupid devil a right hook, or a knee to the gut. I had to make my mind up that I knew who and what I believed in.  How many individuals have had enough of  Satan's attacks? That is where I was! I was mad! I said out loud with confidence and faith praying "God there is nothing he can do to me to make me not serve you, there is no grief he can put me through, no threat to my health, there is NOTHING, NOTHING that will ever make me stop serving YOU! You are my God and that is it! Please fight this battle for me, get this evil thing away from me, away from my family and away from my life, We have had enough and He needs to know You have already won this war!" With that it was like peace came over me and I could visualize our great God just stomping on and leaving Satan face first in the dirt. I know that may sound silly to some and I'm sure we all visualize things differently, but I'm a visual person and I believe God paints these pictures to help me better understand His grace, strength, power and love! I know God loves me and He is constantly fighting for my life and for your life!

               When I think back on the wreck and see the picture that is forever painted in my mind I see the truck and I try not to allow myself to see my sweet Justin and Allen in that truck because it just hurts too much, the pain is too deep and the reality of this life is almost too much for me to bare; so I switch thoughts and then I picture the cross and not just a pretty cross that I have hanging in my house but a cross stained of blood. I sometimes imagine when I'm in my alone time with God that I am praying at the foot of the cross. I see the blood at the bottom, as I follow the blood that puddled and created a stream at the bottom of this cross, I follow the red stains up to the feet. As I see these feet and legs beaten, cuts  are filled with dirt and rocks where he stumbled while He was carrying that cross, the flesh is almost black now from all of the blood, as my eyes move up I see the gash in His side, as the blood flows, his ribs are almost piercing through His skin, as I follow his arms that are stretched out I see the enormous nails hammered through the same hands that touched so many faces, that healed and brought the dead to life and did so much more. When you really think about it, even more than the wreck of my loved ones it almost hurts too bad to go on, the pain placed on one person is just too much to imagine but then as I gaze up I see more blood dripping down this face and I see these huge thorns jabbed into this innocents mans head.. As I look past the blood stained face I can barely catch a glimpse of His eyes that see right through my heart, that see into my soul, that see every evil thought, that see every desire I could ever dream or want.. These eyes are my fathers eyes, that say "I love you this much Leslie, please do not let this be in vain, just come to me and I will carry all of this hurt for you, I will carry all the devils plots and temptations for you, just let me be your God, all you have to do is serve me and you will be with me when this is all over, in eternity" You see when I come to the cross of my father, I find encouragement, strength and purpose, as I can hear Him saying  " You are here for a reason, I know things don't seem fair and things don't add up but look to me and my heart, I would not hurt you, you are my child, I will bring you through this, It does not end here there is a story and picture you can not see or fathom". 

             When life gets too hard to bare some times, I think back and remind myself of all of the promises we have been given. I think about what Jesus did for not just me but for all of us and how great His love must be. At the same time what he went through on that cross can not be understood neither can his love!  
Thank you God for teaching me faithfulness, for loving me so much and for fighting all of my battles, big and small! 

2 Timothy 2 :11-13

     11.Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him, 12. if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; 13. if we are faithless. he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 3:11-13

       11. persecutions, sufferings-what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them. 12. In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13. while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.