When We Learn Gentleness is Not Weakness and Instruction is Not Judgment

I wrote this literally a few months ago and saved it in my drafts and haven't published it until now. I journal on my blog a lot. When I feel God speaks a word to me I try to type it up real quick so I don't forget it... sadly a lot of times I do and I will go back later like I did with this and need what God spoke to me months ago, all over again! Silly humans, we are so hard headed & have selective memory! When I wrote this, I had something completely different on my mind, but now with so much going on with all of the "hate speech", political correctness and even the Phil Robertson ordeal, it seems like it may not be a bad time to put it out there. This was not and is not a post on political correctness or who should have said what, however I will say, I support scripture when it is spoken in context. But this was just a different twist on how to give or take certain things as believers.   


     I just wanted to focus in on something I have prayed about for a while now. It is something I think all Christians deal with and something I think we all have felt someone has done to us or we have done to others and in most cases if we tell the truth, both of these would apply. What I am talking about is the term “corrective criticism”  or referred to from some as “being judgmental”. So which is it? This one is a very hard subject to me so lets look at what scripture has to say...

 Matthew 7:1-29

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce, you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that's in your brother’s eye, but not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother “let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

John 8:7 

And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her”

 2 Timothy 2:24-26

And the Lord’s servants must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. 

Galatians 6:1 

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Proverbs 24: 23-25
These also are sayings of the wise. Partiality in judging is not good. Whoever says to the wicked, "You are in the right," will be cursed by peoples, abhorred by nations, but those who rebuke the wicked will have delight, and a good blessing will come upon them.

Proverbs 28:23
Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue.

     Having read through these scriptures it can be challenging to clarify what we are to do as believers. One of my favorite books of the Bible is Psalms. I love the story of David! Although he hurts my heart with his selfishness, I am always reminded of Gods mercy and grace as he still calls David the "apple of His eye". Davids heart was amazing and one who I honestly believed loved God with everything in him. I think my love for this book is mostly because it is so real; he seems so down to earth and genuine. I love how David pours out his heart so many times and puts everything out on the table; after all, we never hide anything from our heavenly father anyways. Lets take a minute to glance at what David says..

Psalm 141

O Lord, I am calling to you. Please hurry! Listen when I cry to you for help!

Accept my prayer as incense offered to you, and my upraised hands as an evening offering.

Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips. Don’t let me share in the delicacies of those who do wrong. 

Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.

But I pray constantly against the wicked and their deeds. When their leaders are thrown down from the cliff the wicked will listen to my words and find them true. Like rocks brought up by a plow, the bones of the wicked will lie scattered without burial. I look to you for help, O Sovereign Lord. You are my refuge; don’t let them kill me.

Keep me from the traps they have set for me, from the snares of those who do wrong. Let the wicked fall into their own nets, but let me escape.

      When I read this chapter it really hit home with me. I have prayed for so long now that the Lord will help me see my sin as sin and if I don’t that somehow, it would be brought to my attention because I never want something in my life to come between my relationship with God and I also never want to cause anyone else to stumble, and through our selfish desires we do many times. There was only one who walked this earth that was perfect and that was Jesus.  We are not and never will be what he is and was; however, our goal should be to follow His lead and to walk the best walk with him possible. 

            I think back on my days in middle school and high school. I played sports all of my life and loved every minute of it! I was yelled at, a lot, and learned to take it very well. Sometimes it hurt my feelings because my coach was loud, really loud! He did not always seem to use “Corrective Criticism” or as some would feel “he was judging how I shot the ball or ran a play or how I just simply screwed my game up”, but he did not always tell me like I would have liked him to. Sometimes he showed tough love, sometimes it was straight up embarrassing and sometimes the truth hurt; but do you know when I graduated from high school I was a part of 10 state championship teams! You see, had he not been honest, had he not corrected me when I messed up, had he not instilled the fear of running me to death in my brain, I would have never gotten better, I would have been satisfied with just being okay instead of striving for greatness! I love sports and the lessons I learned from being part of a team and having someone push me to my limits every day. I just think it helped me tremendously with learning how to deal with so many things in the real world. God showed me how to take criticism, learn from it, grow from it, and transform it from "criticism" to now "motivation". 

          Speaking of this particular subject of correction, criticism, judgment whatever you choose to call it, I have always been skeptical on how to explain it, and then this morning I see it is just like so many other things, It is a heart issue! As Christians we have to pray like David; that when we mess up or do something completely dumb, (which we will) that we do not get angry and call someone judgmental  when they confront us. We should be thankful they are telling us and as David said “it will be like soothing medicine”. We all know medicine does not always taste good but the end result is we usually get better if we take it like we should and if our body is willing to let the medicine do its work. As believers we must also pray that we speak in gentleness and love, once we get the log out of our eye and are ready to lend a helping hand with the speck. Sometimes this is hard to do, why? because we are human! We don’t always say things like we should or act like we should or have the right words or even sometimes have the right heart behind our words.... So where is the middle ground?

          I have spoke when I should have been silent and I have been silent when I should have spoke. I have personally watched at certain times when I have spoke and it has not been received with the heart and love that I know was in my heart. On the other hand I have watched and been silent when I should have spoke and helped a person who may not have seen their own speck as the log it was. I have literally watched as it has ruined families and marriages.. So what are we to do? Where is our place as Christians who want to help our team of believers to not just be “okay and maybe make Heaven” but to help them be “GREAT and win by a long shot!”  Well the simple answer is, I have no answer. I think this is a problem our culture, our world has created and that has obviously been around for a long time seeing as God talks about it so much in His word. He knew these things would arise. I will say this, that God expects us to give our best for him, to be the best we can be as a believer. When we gave our hearts to God he never intended for us to use him for fire insurance, no, He desires more, He desire to have a one on one relationship with us. He expects us to get in His word and study as much as we can to discover all that we can about him. 

       How much time do we waste studying the life of people we never talk to on fb, instagram and twitter and we never pick up the Bible to study our Lord or “stalk Him” and His history, what comments has He made; what does He have to say about our lives.. or what does He think when He checks out what pictures we post and comments we post. Do they look like someone who is sold out for Him and trying to be “great” in Gods eyes? or do they look like someone who is trying to be great in mans eyes. Do we say and post things for God, to bring people closer to him? or do we say things for show? We may can fool our families and friends but we can never fool God. He knows our hearts more than we even do.

          So having said all of that ,I pray that as believers we will learn to be gentle but not weak and we will learn to be thankful for people who point out that cliff ahead that we can’t seem to see ourselves. I pray when people say things the wrong way or hurt us with their words that we forgive, because we are all human and all make mistakes. When our last days are here we will all be judged, yes that's rights, It’s like championship of all championships, it’s what we as Christians have worked so hard for. When my parents correct me now, Yes, even as I get older they are still my parents and teach me and let me know real quick when they don’t agree with something; but I take their thoughts and gladly accept them (although they may not think it sometimes lol ) but I’m thankful they are helping coach me and prepare me for the biggest win of a lifetime, Eternity! It is much better to work out the kinks and bad plays before it’s game time and before it’s too late. 

         I hope this somehow made sense as I typed it up real quick. This is an area of my life I have to constantly pray over...and an area that has recently had me questioning a lot. The truth is scripture tells us that “God weighs our heart in his hand”, and that the “beginning of wisdom is to FEAR the Lord”. He also tells us to “work out our own Salvation with FEAR and trembling” so this helps remind me it doesn't matter what people say, good or bad, in love or in hate, I have control of where I spend the rest of my life! I can take instruction, criticism and learn from it or I can use it as a crutch, I choose to learn from it! and I can give instruction in love and gentleness and truth or hate. I choose love, gentleness and truth. I pray everyday God will give me words to speak and the perfect timing to speak them(this takes a lot of work lol) especially in todays times; but at the end of the day I have to pray I have done what God wants and pray He moves in someone's heart and that my words are taken in the love and gentleness I meant for them to be.
      In closing, we simply have to pray and ask for God to renew our mind daily and to direct every single little or huge, step we take and word we speak!


With Love,

Leslie