My Life As An Army Wife

           I'm just going to start off by saying I am so ready for some WARM and SUNNY weather! The last few months have been so nasty which make my attitude and view on life somehow not the best in the world as well. I told someone the other day, the last few months I have felt so blah. I don't know what the deal has been. Blake and I had stayed up here at Fort Rucker, more than we normally do and as silly as it sounds I have been getting a little homesick. You see the one thing about Fort Rucker and flight school that I have came to love the LEAST is that the people come through here so fast and stay so busy that before you know it they are leaving , heading to their next duty station and you don't ever really get a chance to say goodbye. For many this is normal to them and a way of life that they find adventurous and exciting, for a born and raised southern girl who loves people, friendships and relationships this way of life at first seem straight up depressing and lonely. To make friends only to know you will have to leave them and to form relationships only to know it may only last a few months, weeks or days has honestly been a hard concept for me to accept. If I were to be honest, it all has been a little overwhelming and has caused me to stand off more than I normally would. Why make all these friends just for them to have to leave? Well, as always God teaches us things and if I can say anything about 2011-2013 they have been years of learning! You see God has stretched me and made me get out of my comfort zone. I  have never realized I really had a "comfort zone" so to speak. I get along with almost anyone and I would consider myself comfortable in my own skin, all except when it came to one thing, and that was when it came to military things. I will never know what my hang up was and why I was so nervous about living around a military post or even driving on post. It honestly is the craziest thing. Please don't misunderstand me, I have always had a love and strong support for our service men and women but to be a part of them and living in the middle of it all was a little intimidating. It may have to do with the fact that I had never been around military that much and I had always heard the stereo type things like how hard of a lifestyle it was or how hard nose some people could be, partly because they had actually seen so much bad. I want to make it clear how terribly WRONG my thinking was! I still don't know who ingrained that thinking in me and where it came from. 

        Blake and I moved up here and I was so nervous to go anywhere on post, I thought if I went 1 mile over the speed limit they were going to pull me over and yell at me and take my driving privileges away. While I have heard this could happen it is honestly VERY rare. I was nervous about the people we would be around and worried we would never make any good Christian friends. I was worried Blake may not have a ton of friends because he doesn't drink and party. I was worried we weren't ever going to find a church to attend up here; with all this worrying, no wonder I developed an autoimmune problem! These thoughts were not of God and they were not accurate at all!

          We lived in a small apartment and welcomed our new addition, Hawk (our boxer) into our family as soon as we moved here. Although potty training was the pits, getting him was one of the best things we could have done. I was able to stay busy and occupy some of my time since my health started off so sketchy when we moved; now Hawk and Weatherby (our Bichon) have really been a woman's best friend =)  When we finally got somewhat settled and my health improved I signed up for bootcamp  it was full but I soon got a call from the trainer that they had a space opened up, I was so excited! At this point we had been here for probably 5 months and I really didn't have many friends. (pathetic, I know and not like me at all). I went at 6:30 every morning and ran, rucked, crawled, got muddy and had a blast while burning tons of calories with a fine group of ladies and an awesome trainer. I'm sure Kris will never know how much that phone call meant to me and neither did I at the time but looking back I formed some of the sweetest friendships and it was so nice to even just talk to other girls, most of which were flight school wives just like me. When bootcamp ended I even worked at the gym here on post some, teaching classes and working with an amazing group of ladies. Sadly, life got too busy and I soon had to stop, building the house in Mobile and everything else going on was just too much all at one time; however I do believe although I was teaching classes, I learned more from the wonderful people that came to class and the awesome group of people I worked with than I could ever have imagined!

            I  don't really know why I ever worried about Blake making friends, he has a ton of friends up here. He is such a great guy and he really had an awesome class to start with. I love the guys and girls he had in his class and they were so much fun! They were not what I pictured at all and they honestly respected our beliefs and choices more than many of our friends at home do. Although almost all of them have moved already, they still text and call Blake all the time. I remember when I saw the unity and family from the life of military when we moved from our apartment into a house on post. All these guys and one of the wives that we hardly knew at the time showed up in the rain to help us move. They loaded their cars and made trips back and forth with our stuff. The pizza I had for them was nothing compared to what a help they were, and I can never repay them for that. Although people move from place to place I learned that I no longer look at it as if they are "leaving", I simply look at it like we have friends all over the world now, and could almost see friends on every vacation we take! Thank goodness for social media, that helps us all stay connected. 

          We finally found an amazing church that I am so thankful for. The atmosphere is just like a family, the worship music and time is great and the sermons are always something I need to hear. Blake and I have now joined a marriage small group and it's so awesome how God works. Most of the group is military as well and our group leader is a chinook IP so Blake got to fly with him the other night. Our first meeting with our group was amazing, we answered questions about ourselves and our marriage that for some reason Blake and I had not really talked about, nothing serious yet, just sweet things. I'm so excited about this group and so sad at the same time because we won't get to go through the entire study with them.

          Blake came up here to go through the Black Hawk course for the Mobile/Montgomery NG Unit. Well... a little while after being here he received a call that they were going to have to switch him to the Birmingham NG Unit to fly Chinooks. The reason being there is a deployment coming up and they have to take so many LT's. Let me just say this little Army wife was not a happy camper. I knew people in his other unit, they had just gotten back from a deployment so it would be a while before they went back and it was in Mobile.. Why on earth would they switch him? Not to mention there was a guy behind him that was from Birmingham that could take this spot...I'll never forget the first time Blake really mentioned the big "D" word (deployment), huge tears came to my eyes and I just could not understand what was going on! Yes, I knew he was in the Army when I married him but I was in denial about the fact he may ever have to leave! So here I am again with a choice, to trust or not to trust, to love and live or to live in fear and worry, to have faith that I serve a mighty God who knows our future and has a our very life in his hands no matter where in this world we are, or to allow Satan to pull me down and fill me with doubt... I often ask God "when will things ever get back to "normal" or calm down". Do you ever just feel like you can't get a break? Well I am one friend that understands! While I can question God all I want, I know He has the answer and my human mind can not understand what He is putting together. So I decide once more to trust, to love and live while placing my fears and worries in Gods hands and I dig in the word a little more to build up my faith that I serve a mighty God who will not fail me! 
          I also believe God has used other army wives to teach me a thing or thousand. I want to first say that these army wives (not me) but the ones who have been through it all, are the real deal! I am amazed by their strength. Here I am complaining about the "thought" of a 9 month deployment and yes, praying against it, that he won't go; and they have had children while their husbands were deployed  for 14 months. Not just one deployment but multiple deployments, and not just one kid but multiple kids! They have traveled the world and left their families and instead of complaining about it, they offer comfort to me. (which makes me feel like such a wimp!) I still have so much to learn but I am honestly so thankful God has given us this opportunity while we have been here at Fort Rucker. Not to mention these women are like turbo women and moms, with all their babies! It's inspiring and I love that they love their husbands and  families so much. I love how many women in the military have tons of children! I said the entire time while we were at Rucker that I needed a kid to fit in because there seemed to be a double stroller every 100 feet around this place!!

           Things are winding down for flight school (so we think, but then again it is the Army and anything is possible lol) Blake is flying nights right now and he has excelled in everything! I am honestly so proud of him and all that he has accomplished and stood for. He has not lowered his standards and while he worries he put flight school too high on his priority list, I have never seen it because he has been attentive and faithful to me. He has remained a spiritual leader and I could not ask for anything more. He has been a gift to me and I'm just so blessed to be a part of this adventure. He has two more weeks of flying nights and is scheduled to graduate very soon. I can't imagine how excited he will be when that day finally gets here! I have no clue what the future holds for Blake and I but I just have a good, positive feeling about what God is doing in our lives! I stopped trying to plan so much and now let God take care of my life calendar, although I would like to think that in a couple of years he will have parenting humans and not just our dogs in store for us! Rather it be our biological child or a child that needs a mommy and daddy from the states/another country or God willing both biological and adopted;however He sees fit, God knows the desire of our hearts and really only He knows all of those details and the plan. Blake and I have learned so much about each other as we have had to try to figure life out (which is not possible by the way). We have had a blast together and are each others best friends, which is really fun! I say it all the time, but who knows what the future holds for us or anyone, we just take it one day at a time, and do our best to keep our focus on HIM!

 God Bless and Love, Leslie

The "Battle" has a new name, "Miles in the Middle"

          I just wanted to make a quick update post. I have been praying for some time for what name to give this blog. "The Battle" is truly how I felt when I first started blogging as my life is and was I felt a battle. We all are in a constant battle for our soul, ect.. I; however, have not been content with that name. I'm on the road much more than I would have ever chosen and if you read my post you can probably sense that much of my time with God is spent in my car, on the road, running up the miles in the middle of my destinations.
         On my way back to Fort Rucker yesterday, burning up those highways and back county roads, with my little side kick Weatherby (my dog); I was praying as I always do about which direction I should take, and that God would give me a name for this blog that would help with which ever direction he decides to take me down. I wanted a name that would not be down and depressing as the word "Battle" seems to be when I think of it but I also wanted something that would open the door for me to write on multiple things in life. As some of you may or may not know I'm extremely into fitness and athletics. Most of my life growing up my days consisted of, basketball, volleyball, track and in the good ole days, softball. I played as long as I can remember through school and I could write hundreds of post on the life lessons that I learned from sports. I love the team, the game and the dedication I learned. I love getting along and working with people and pushing through to a goal, to a win. Once I started college, I decided to leave my sports in high school and move to other things.
       Having a track history, I took up running and became a fitness instructor, teach spinning and core classes. I ran my first and only (as of right now)marathon with my Uncle Kevin in Disney World not long after I had moved back home. When thinking about those long runs, and workouts, the start is important yes, the finish is very important, but it's whats in the middle that determines how you finish. It's those miles in the middle that the bear jumps on your back and you either decide to push through and finish or stop and give up. To me life is much like this. There are so many things that go on between life and death that determine so much of our destiny. I remember Pastor Jerry Lawson speaking at the funeral of Allen and Justin and he said it's ""The Dash" that matters, the dash you see on a headstone between a birth date and a death date; it's what did we do in those years, in that dash that counts?"
        So in thinking of many things, I have decided to change this blog name to "Miles in the Middle" for now. Who knows I might leave it like this forever, or I might decide to change it again!=) Please share and continue to feel free to stop by and read any time as we discuss, those life lesson, hard times and good times we find ourselves in during the Miles in the Middle. Enjoy!

Now I lay me down to sleep...

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep....”

 These words have taught me how to pray, have helped me when the dark monster was coming after me in the night and the noises of silence haunted me. As I have grown I still find when I whisper my own silent prayers I always seem to mouth  “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep” and then I go on to my "grown up" prayer I guess you could call it. It’s funny that some how over the years I have managed to forget the exact words to the rest of that prayer. I can some what remember it so I used the amazing tool google and found what the rest of that prayer said and the many, many versions of these “night night” prayers as I always called them. Some go on to say “should I die before the night, I pray the Lord my soul to take." others say “that Angels watch me through the night and keep me safe till morning light”; I believe this is the one I said the most.

  These simple prayers have provided comfort, peace and hope through the dark. As an adult, my dark has become darker and the monster has became a reality as the demonic forces long to attack the children of God. But we serve a God that will not allow this. This morning I woke up and while getting ready for church I was thinking about how silly I still am about my night night prayers. It has become one of mine and Blake’s most sacred times. He is so patient and sweet that he waits on me to wash my face and go through my ridiculously long regiment of getting ready for bed, and then we have our time with God together, finishing our day with prayer and communication with our heavenly father. I will admit Blake gets offended because sometimes I fall asleep when he has a lot on his mind to talk with Jesus about and I’m sure he does the same to me and simply wakes up to catch me say amen. I used to always feel so bad because I would sometimes fall asleep when saying my prayers but as I was thinking this morning about my relationships in life and my relationship with God, He showed me a little something. 

As long as I can remember one of my favorite memories growing up were the times before bed that I would spend with my parents. I can remember my dad saying “come on girl, come get your arm” which was his arm. As I would lay there we would talk and talk. We have had the silliest conversations to the conversations parents never want to have with their children; as I had moved back home as a widow and the nights and evil thoughts haunted me while my life appeared to be the nightmare I could never escape. Even my brother loved hanging out and talking at night, I can remember as kids we always wanted to be together. I had my own room but I can remember more nights in his top bunk bed and him on the bottom bunk than I can remember in my own bed and even as we grew up he would come and talk to me when he got in most nights. We talked about everything and looking back, those memories, those conversations and those giggles are worth so much to me. The night before Allen and Justin went to be with our Father, he stood in our earthly parents room after my dad cut his hair and he did just like he had done so many nights, he talked and talked to my parents. From what they said he did not seem to care he had to get up at the crack of dawn the next morning, he was just so excited about life and was so full of life. He was a married man so these times naturally did not happen as much but they meant and mean now so much to my parents. As life goes on we move out and those conversations at night may not always happen as much. Sadly, I realize for many children  these sweet moments and conversations never happen and they go to bed only speaking to siblings or no one at all  because the parents are not home. The stresses of the economic pressure have them working or they simply do not realize that each and every moment with a child is a gift from God. 

As I thought about my time with God at night I thought about all of this, and I realized not for the first time that I have been so very blessed. I also came back to the fact that I had forgotten the words to the once memorized prayer. I came to the realization that I had probably forgotten it because I fell asleep before I got to the next verse.oops! lol. Thinking back on all the nights I have found myself not able to sleep as Satan still to this day attempts to torment me with negative thoughts when I close my eyes, when everything goes silent, and the dark comes. Every  single one of the nights all have the same thing in common; I crawled into my heavenly fathers arms like a big baby running from night time monsters and talked out my problems, my fears and my worries. I gave them to him to fight and to carry. I prayed and stayed in his arms until he rocked me right on to sleep with his peace and grace. When I finally awoke, the night was over and joy had come in the morning. 

While I think about the stresses of life and I watch as this world and nation drift further and further away from the one true God, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior; I know that others I’m sure are being tormented just like I am. If you are not a believer or if you are, you may not even realize what is happening, but the devil is real and he is working over time because he knows his time is short. Please know that even if you don’t know your earthly father, you don’t have a relationship with him or whatever the case may be that we still have a great big Father out there that wants a personal relationship with you and with each and everyone of us! He wants to hold us in his arms and cover us in his peace. He wants us to run to him when things get dark and life gets hard, and at the same time he wants us to talk to him when things are going great and we are just simply thankful for everything he is doing.

         God has shown me so much this past year and has revealed so much to me as Blake and I have had to search for a church home while we are at Fort Rucker and  I’ll just tell you it has been hard! But I believe people have complicated Christianity and having a relationship with Christ. Yes, I firmly believe the road to Heaven is narrow but I believe that it is still a very simple process. God wants and desires a very REAL, authentic relationship with his children, he wants us to talk about everything in our life, and when we mess up and screw up, he wants us to come to him and let him fix it. I also believe he desires from us real thanksgiving and real worship. As we worship and spend time with him, he fixes everything else because we realize how completely amazing he is and we learn that we want to be just like him! Have you ever met someone that just really made an impression on you and you thought "this person has it all"? They seem to have it all together and you just wish you could be like them. I know that may sound cheesy to some but everyone does this. We watch Hollywood or I am guilty of looking at other women who appear so beautiful, like they have it all together; beautiful family, sweet,  love God and just an all around great person. Don’t get me wrong I believe God puts some amazing people in our lives to be great role models so to speak, and honestly I have a lot of Godly women and people I look up to, but really, really, more than I should look to others, I should look to God! I should study his word and desire to be like him! He sets the standard of perfection and the more we study and learn how he handles situations, how he loves and he offers peace, the more we desire to be like him. Let me be clear, we will never achieve perfection! We will never be him or his equal and we will never be worthy of his love but that's when he offers grace and love beyond comprehension. And just like it meant so much to my parents when Allen and I would spend time and communicate with them, just like it means so much to any person and any real relationship when we communicate; It means even more to our Heavenly Father, King of Kings and Holy God! 

          There’s a beautiful song we sing at the church we attend here in Enterprise. It has really challenged me and I believe it is a great example of how God wants our relationship with him to be. I wish you could hear it put to music but the words in themselves are beautiful and so true.

“ You said seek and you’ll find,

 So I’ll come running after you;

 You said stay for a while

 I’ll reveal my heart to you; 

I love, I love, I love to bring you praise, 

I love, I love, I love to bring you praise 

with all I am... 

You said pray and not cease; 

so to your cross I bow my knee

 you said ask and receive,

 As you speak your will to me;

 I long, I long, I long to see your face,

 I long, long, I long to see you face 

With all I am....

 So I will love you, There’s none above you, 

You are my everything ,

 So I will love you, There’s none beside you, 

You take my breath away....”

           I challenge you this week to spend a little time with God. As you lay down, shut your eyes and your list of to dos, bills to pay, deadlines to meet, kids events, projects, deployments, health problems, sickness in a love one, marital problems, relationship problems, and even death of a loved one may flood your thoughts, Satan may try to use these against you. He would love for us to drown in fear and worry or suffocate in our problems.  It's so easy to get away from these attacks and if you don't know what else to say and your heart is too broken, start small, be real and be transparent. God does not require us to have a fancy prayer with words we never use in real life. A simple prayer while laying in bed can put your mind to rest and bring peace to your soul more than you ever imagined. Yes, there are times, many times we have to learn to put on our boxing gloves and go to war against Satan as we allow God to teach us to become that prayer warrior, but we have to start somewhere. I will leave you with this; Some may say it is wrong to fall asleep before finishing our nightly prayers. I think of it a couple of ways, first of all rest is a good thing and I believe when we let our bodies get physically weary we do not always think clearly and we set ourselves up for Satan's attacks. God speaks of rest many times in scripture and I believe it is one of the many ways he helps us. We think, listen and function much better after a good nights rest. Also I don’t have a child yet, but I imagine when I am blessed to have one of my own, that a very precious time will be when I hold them in my arms as they sleep. Unlike a child outgrows a parents arms and lap physically, we NEVER outgrow the arms of God! 
Have a blessed week!

Matthew 11:28-29

 “…Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 

Deuteronomy 33:27
The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. 

1 Coronicles 16:11

Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually.


Psalms 145:18-19
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.

Philippians 4:6
Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God.

1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray without ceasing.

The Real Swamp People

       It's that time of year again! Yep, you guessed it, GATOR SEASON! For those of you who are not familiar with the way things are done down here in the South; let me explain. We have two weekends dedicated to Gator Hunting in the month of August. The hunting must be done between 8pm and 6am. When I first was introduced to this wild hunting sport, I'm not going to lie, I was secretly terrified! Please do not misunderstand me I love a great adventure and I love hunting but the thought of going out in a bass boat in the pitch black night, to look for the biggest gators we could find sounded a little insane!
      Just to recap on a little history, the first time I had heard about this was the end of 2008. My dad is a thrill seeker, I honestly believe the only thing he really fears is God himself. To this day I still feel sorry for guys that wanted to date me when I was growing up! Guess that's why I only have had 2 serious relationships in my life, Justin and now Blake, they are brave men! =)  I say all of this to say that right after the accident in 2008 my dad started talking about how he wanted to go Alligator Hunting, it was something he had never done. I'm not sure how it is for others who have experienced tragedy but when things like that happen you want to hold on to memories while at the same time you want to escape the things that seem to always have a memory. So this escape, this something new for our family just happened to be hunting crazy huge, wild animals that could kill you with one bite! I was not shocked by this new adventure/near death experience my dad wanted to try out; however, I wondered how it could be done. He put in for a tag and soon learned that he had been drawn for this hunt! He was pretty pumped to say the least! Dad started gearing up and getting ready like he does for most hunts he takes but this was much different than others. As he would go out to look for the glaring red eyes every night in the boat, I too became curious about this game. Now I have to admit and I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I am a daddy's girl, and along with this I also take after his competitive side. I can not stand to be left out or to think I'm too "girlie" to take on a new challenge. So naturally his trusty side kick soon joined him, me!
         This season sadly does not take place in the cold but in the dead heat of summer, I always get countless bug bites and big dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep as we hunt all night. The first season of Gator Hunting on the night the monster was caught it was raining and I voted I would stay home out of the weather (yes, as Allen would have said I was being a sissy).My sister in law Jessica had also been joining us for some hunting. But that night we were both gone and from what I heard when my dad butt called me while he was on the boat with our Pastor and His other best friend, Ricky, they had the time of their life. I had yet to see an alligator caught so you can imagine the shock when I heard my dad tell his buddies, " Guys hold him still, he's not dead yet, let me jump down here in the water and cut his vertebrae with my knife!"Yes, those were the words I heard!WILD!        

         The next year came along and Jessica and I were determined we would get our chance. Can you believe we both drew gator tags! We talked to so many people who had been putting in for years and could not get drawn. As we giggled our way in the line with tons of burly men, we picked up our tags and took our seats at the briefing we had to attend. We were so excited! I think we deep down thought our guys would be proud of us for sticking together and for also doing something they would have been so pumped to do themselves. We loaded in the boat for year two of gator hunting. We hunted so hard but my dad was determined he wanted us to have the trophy gators, so nothing was a keeper. The last night we had to hunt rolled around as we wondered how in the world are we going to get not one but two gators in one night! To our surprise we did it! I honestly feel like God gave them to us! We snatched the first one up so easy and moved right on to the second. They were huge, both about 10-12 feet long. We loaded them in the back of Blake's truck and then onto the boat. Thinking we were pretty cool and still being silly girls, we took tons of pictures with these animals. We called ourselves the gator girls, although we knew without my dad and Mr. Ricky we wouldn't have gotten a single thing....

       Yes, there was a year three of Gator hunting! This time Blake and I drew tags.Yep, we were on our first adventure as newlyweds, how romantic! We hunted and hunted for these things but Blake's tag was in the Delta and my tag was in West Central Alabama. We caught a good one in the Delta but it was not as big as we hoped so we let him go and moved on to a new location. Still just as exciting we loaded up the boat, put our head lights on our heads, bug goggles on and prayers for safety into action to hit these swamps.

      We never would have caught this gator if I had a say because I was a nervous wreck! Before we had always been in open water, maybe some brush but I could always see the downtown Mobile lights, but not here. Nope, all we had was the natural light from the moon and stars and trust me, there was nothing romantic about it! As we were moving along we came across many red eyes. You see when an alligators eyes are very wide apart, that tells you their size, the length can be found in the distance from the eyes to the tip of the nose. 
      Well we saw the eyes we had been looking for and Dad and Blake soon found a little cove; which I assume was his home! Now the other times were fun but this topped my books for near death hunting adventures! We have the entire thing on video and soon we hope to make a nice clip I will post. Since this was my tag my dad wanted me to have the great duty of hitting him with the bang stick once he was to the boat. Nervous, praying the whole time and also arguing with my dad that he should just do it, I took the gun and eventually attempted to pop the gator right behind the head only to find, he did not die! The gun did not go off! I just ticked him off! I handed the stick to my dad and basically jumped to the middle of the boat, leaving my dad to take care of himself  (not that I would have been very much help anyways). Blake was yelling "get back there, you can do this!", I believe I tried one more time, and some how the gator was still in the same place, but not dead! Dad tried, again, nothing! It still had not gone off but this time the gator knew something was not right, he threw his tail in the air as he pulled our lines in the water with him! Our rods flew in the water and 2 hooks I believe were some how left in him as his jaws came chomping back at the boat right by my dads foot! This, what appeared to be a dinosaur went down under the dark water as dad and Blake kept saying "hold on to him, don't let him loose" while I'm thinking "Are we crazy? Lets get the heck out of here before we die!" the fear and excitement all in one was about to bust out of me! My thoughts were "how can we catch this thing with no way to kill him?". We soon realized the bang stick had a tiny rock in it. As we got our things together, we were back in the game and soon this bad boy was back to the boat. I allowed dad the honors to pop him in the back of the head this time. With just Blake, Dad and I; we somehow managed to load this 511lb beast on the bass boat and head back to weigh in! We felt we were on top of the world!

        

         There are so many details to these hunting experiences that I could write a book simply on our gator hunts. This short description in no way does justice to the fun, excitement and memories we have made and had on our little adventures down here in South Alabama.
        As I always believe, God allows things to happen. I believe He gave us those memories. God knows just what we need and knows that sometimes we just need a little change, excitement and fun in life. Through the hurt it is hard to imagine but deep down I know God loves to see His children smile. I think that when our hearts break, His breaks  for us as well; while on the other hand, I also believe, when we smile, God smiles back. I like to think that on these adventure when we are out in the wild with all of Gods amazing and yes scary creations that I am so close to him. It could possibly be my prayers for survival =) but when I am up close and personal with his work of art I can feel and hear him so clearly!

       So although this year was not year 4 for our gator season, maybe next year will be and if not I'm so thankful God reached in and drew our name. Yes, He cares about things like that; to a family like mine whose world appeared to be falling apart, being picked for a simple hunt meant much more than the game we were hunting, it meant that we were still living, that we were still moving forward and that we could learn to make new memories even as we hold on to our other cherished memories. Thank you God for thinking of us even in the small things.

Good Luck Alabama Gator Hunters of 2012!!

God Bless

Our Warrior

          How many times does God have to tell us to trust and lean on him until we finally do? I sometimes think how patient God must be to constantly wait on me and remind me of the same things over and over.... He has our life in His hands, He has our future, our health, our careers, our finances, and our families in His hands. He knows just what is going to happen and He knows just when Satan's attacks will come. He knows that without His strength we will not make it. I can't imagine how many times I break my Fathers heart when I search for answers else where, or when I worry myself sick because my trust is lacking... I can't imagine how He desires for me to look to Him for ALL of my answers. Although I know we find our strength when we come to Him, distractions come in and pull us away, making us vulnerable to the enemies attacks. 

         I can not express how important it is for us to recognize when the enemy attacks and how important it is when that terrible demon and liar, from the very pits of hell comes to us and tries to over take us, our lives and our faith! He attacks Gods people every day, every min, every second and there can be no shelter found to get away from this demon! Our answers will not be found and our problems will never dissapear with the use of a drink or bottle, there is not a single drug that can make us forget or get away; we can run as far and as fast as we want, we can move across the country, start a new life with not a single familiar face but that will not keep us from the attacks of Satan. A physical army does not exist to protect us from this enemy. There is only one escape, there is only one sword, there is only one army that protects us from this enemy. This army, this hero, this warrior, this sword can only be seen through faith. He can only be seen when we stop looking for our answers, for our shelter, for our hope, for our change in every thing else and we run straight to Him. He works to defend His people and His children like no other leader ever will or ever could. He is a warrior that fights our hardest battles; He is the one that fights our cancer, that fights divorce, that fights for families, battered women, homeless, orphans and widows. This amazing Warrior, Father, symbol of love fights for both Christians and for the people who have not yet found Him. This Warrior and true All mighty Leader is the one all people are in search of, He is the answer we all so desperately need and He is the only "change" there can or ever will be. 

           I have been so broken and just, pure angry at the enemy for everything that he has tried to do in my life and in my families lives. My heart breaks for people who do not see that we do not have to fight Satan on our own, we can't, we will lose every time. 

       A few weeks back, it was the night before I left to go to Honduras to do some missions; I  was driving back to Fort Rucker. I was not packed at all, I was making my mental list of things to do and out of nowhere my eyelid started to fall.  It was not nearly as bad as before but I had been praying, I had been teaming up with God and letting Him fight this for me and I honestly thought it was gone. I have had a remarkable turn around from what the Doctors have told me with Ocular Myasthenia and I have been so thankful for our Lords healing touch and power and for the prayer warriors He has placed in my life; But when my eye started drooping, I thought "oh no God! What have I done?" Beside the fact, I was exhausted, stressed, and had not been eating like I should or taking my meds like I should, I thought, "Oh no God, I have gotten back to this? I'm starting all over again, I thought this was gone?"  Then It was like He said "Leslie it is not what you have done wrong, but what you are doing right..." The devil is in such a race to take souls down with him, that he will do anything and the more we do for God and His Kingdom the harder the enemy works on us.  As the tears came down I began to pray out loud. I began to worship out loud and God went to war for me right there and then in my car. I was so mad at the devil, through Jesus name I let him have it! With every word I prayed to God I could just visualize God giving that stupid devil a right hook, or a knee to the gut. I had to make my mind up that I knew who and what I believed in.  How many individuals have had enough of  Satan's attacks? That is where I was! I was mad! I said out loud with confidence and faith praying "God there is nothing he can do to me to make me not serve you, there is no grief he can put me through, no threat to my health, there is NOTHING, NOTHING that will ever make me stop serving YOU! You are my God and that is it! Please fight this battle for me, get this evil thing away from me, away from my family and away from my life, We have had enough and He needs to know You have already won this war!" With that it was like peace came over me and I could visualize our great God just stomping on and leaving Satan face first in the dirt. I know that may sound silly to some and I'm sure we all visualize things differently, but I'm a visual person and I believe God paints these pictures to help me better understand His grace, strength, power and love! I know God loves me and He is constantly fighting for my life and for your life!

               When I think back on the wreck and see the picture that is forever painted in my mind I see the truck and I try not to allow myself to see my sweet Justin and Allen in that truck because it just hurts too much, the pain is too deep and the reality of this life is almost too much for me to bare; so I switch thoughts and then I picture the cross and not just a pretty cross that I have hanging in my house but a cross stained of blood. I sometimes imagine when I'm in my alone time with God that I am praying at the foot of the cross. I see the blood at the bottom, as I follow the blood that puddled and created a stream at the bottom of this cross, I follow the red stains up to the feet. As I see these feet and legs beaten, cuts  are filled with dirt and rocks where he stumbled while He was carrying that cross, the flesh is almost black now from all of the blood, as my eyes move up I see the gash in His side, as the blood flows, his ribs are almost piercing through His skin, as I follow his arms that are stretched out I see the enormous nails hammered through the same hands that touched so many faces, that healed and brought the dead to life and did so much more. When you really think about it, even more than the wreck of my loved ones it almost hurts too bad to go on, the pain placed on one person is just too much to imagine but then as I gaze up I see more blood dripping down this face and I see these huge thorns jabbed into this innocents mans head.. As I look past the blood stained face I can barely catch a glimpse of His eyes that see right through my heart, that see into my soul, that see every evil thought, that see every desire I could ever dream or want.. These eyes are my fathers eyes, that say "I love you this much Leslie, please do not let this be in vain, just come to me and I will carry all of this hurt for you, I will carry all the devils plots and temptations for you, just let me be your God, all you have to do is serve me and you will be with me when this is all over, in eternity" You see when I come to the cross of my father, I find encouragement, strength and purpose, as I can hear Him saying  " You are here for a reason, I know things don't seem fair and things don't add up but look to me and my heart, I would not hurt you, you are my child, I will bring you through this, It does not end here there is a story and picture you can not see or fathom". 

             When life gets too hard to bare some times, I think back and remind myself of all of the promises we have been given. I think about what Jesus did for not just me but for all of us and how great His love must be. At the same time what he went through on that cross can not be understood neither can his love!  
Thank you God for teaching me faithfulness, for loving me so much and for fighting all of my battles, big and small! 

2 Timothy 2 :11-13

     11.Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him, 12. if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; 13. if we are faithless. he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 3:11-13

       11. persecutions, sufferings-what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them. 12. In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13. while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 

Where is Our "Nation Under God?"

          Today I have an extremely heavy heart. I usually do when I write but today is different. God has given me such a burden for this subject or subjects that most likely will not be completed in 1 post. These are the subjects that cause friends to part, families to disagree and a country to split. Having said that I am very concerned with how I come across. I first must clear the air that I am a woman of very strong convictions. I feel God expects His children to be set apart (Romans 12:1, I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.) When we become Christians we become the home of Christ himself. Many of us have heard this in church but do we really understand what it means? I heard a pastor recently ask the question, "What is the #1 problem with Christians today?" I thought for a second and he said " You can not tell who they are". The very truth of this broke my heart because there is no way to deny it; which brings up another question, who really is a Christian? When we say a prayer but never turn from our ways... where truly is our heart for God? I could wonder off a long time about this subject but the details we can save for another day..These questions I ask my self daily and daily I am right back to a great fear of mine, that we have gotten so far from God, so far from the truth (scripture) that we are not even sure anymore what is right and what is wrong... oh the great absolute truth question comes into play! Many question this as well, I personally believe there is an absolute truth, there is an absolute black and white and most importantly there is a distinct good and evil. 

         Today, as 5pm came, I stood, watched and pledged with others as they pulled off the road to show their respect while the daily revelry was played here at Fort Rucker.  As I stood there many thoughts crossed my mind. For a while now I have been worried about our Nation but today I was so down about our countries current status that it almost got the best of me. My attitude was terrible and honestly I am still upset about where we are. Yes I have my own opinions about things but the thing that I feel we honestly need to take a real look at is right in the mirror, yes, ourselves. More than I am mad, my heart is crushed. As Americans we are spoiled, please understand that I know we have poverty and I know that just because we live in America it does not mean life it great, life is life no matter where we are. What I am saying is that if we were to visit other countries, we would see no one has it like we do! Our Government pays for more than it ever should, like I said we are spoiled.(and yet another topic for another day). What I have realized though, is that our priorities are very much out of order. We appear to be so lost as a nation that we have gotten our focus off of what IS important and what the problems are and we focus on things that to be perfectly honest are not the real issues. I believe it was last week, I was out and about and it seemed like at every cash register there was a jar to take up money and support some sort of animal shelter, or animal foundation... At first I thought awe poor puppies and kitties, Yes I LOVE my animals and every time I go to Pet Smart I make sure to donate; when I was younger and even today I will take in any stray that comes up but seriously, when we have more support for the battered animals than the murdered innocent babies,. our issues run much deeper....
        Today we live in a time when our moral compass appears to be completely broken. We support people, foundations and groups that are pulling our country so far from what we were founded on, the Bible. We now have decisions being made that will impact this country for ever; decisions that if you consider yourself  a Christian you should be very broken hearted about. Yes, it is a difficult subject and I never want to offend anyone but the fact is, no one seems to care if we as Christians are offended. I know many think we are all about love and acceptance but in these days we must take a stand for something and when we do people are going to disagree, they are going to get hurt and they are going to get mad. Heck, I would venture to say we will most likely be called mean and narrow minded.  Coming from someone who wants to keep the peace and always keep everyone happy, I deep down know that it's okay and does not matter what others say when it comes to the convictions my Lord has laid on my heart; at the end of it all there is only one opinion that matters. I want to encourage and challenge us all to get up to date, to know what we believe and why we believe it and to find someone that lines up with our beliefs as much as possible and support them 110%. The days we live in are crazy and call for us to stand up. Protestors are everywhere. protesting our soldiers funerals, protesting for certain rights they want passed and much more, so what will we stand up for as children of God? Will we be passive bystanders that never help lead others in the right direction or will we sincerely take an interest in this country and think about a time when we are long gone.... what will we do when things do not end like we thought or when Christ holds off on coming back for a while? Will our children grow up in a better world or will we leave this earth in so much confusion that we never see our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren make eternity because we forgot the name of Jesus Christ and what He stood for? I am in constant prayer over our nation and I encourage you to do the same. Pray for our leaders, that they will see the way our country should go and that God will direct them to make the right decisions. Pray for our nations future and lastly pray that we will be used as the body of believers for whatever God calls us to.. There is strength in numbers and I believe it is time for the Body of Christ to form up.
      "Pour out your wrath on the nations that do not acknowledge you, on the peoples who do not call on your name" Jeremiah 10:25 
 I pray that we are not that nation..


God Bless and God Bless America,


Leslie

  

A Year With My Best Friend

“Forever You will stand, Your Kingdom has no end. Oh Holy God, I stay amazed, You are so much more than words could ever say, Oh Holy God I pour out my praise on the one who never ceases to amaze me.” 

Grasping with a death grip on my dads hand and the other holding a beautiful bouquet, I ran my thumb over the sweetest face; Allen’s picture was tied to my bouquet.... I'm still speechless when I think back on that moment. Looking down at his picture, brought so many emotions. As my intro and cue to go in, came, the tears wouldn’t stop. The journey I had been through to get to this point had been so hard. It wasn’t the fairy tale I had known before. No, this time I realized life happens and it doesn’t follow our plans. No one ask our permission before the really hard times hit, they just hit. In the middle of all of this I also realized just how fragile, short and valuable our lives are. I realize more than ever how important it is to show people we love them and never take one single phone call, conversation, kiss or hug for granted.  

Blake is so special and valuable to me. I realize what an absolute true gift from God he honestly is. I was blessed with such a special marriage before. I knew God had blessed me with that gift but it was almost like I did not realize just how special it was until it was taken from me. Sad that’s how life works. I can remember so many nights I would just lay awake,alone and pray God would direct my life. I honestly never thought I would love again and if I did I thought it would just be almost like a replacement that would never be the same. I soon realized and knew I would not be happy with that and if God ever wanted me with someone then they would have to be so special and different that I could never compare. I also realized that when Blake walked into my life it was unlike anything I could explain. God put the interest, the love and the relationship we had into motion. I learned that when I fell in love with Blake that my past did not hurt or hinder our relationship but the journey and road I had been traveling is what made it all so special.  

         The love I had been given before was such a blessing; I now know what it is like to lose that gift and that someone to be with; someone to share inside jokes, silly laughs and countless stories with. More than anything I realize how very rare that relationship and love is. When God sent Blake my way I had grown up quick and had learned much more than I would have ever liked to have learned at such a young age. After going through everything with Justin and Allen I now am able to see the blessings more clearly that God places in our paths. No, what Blake and I have is not a fairy tale but even more, it is a real life love story. One with heart ache, awkward silent times, and feelings that sometimes have no explanation and can’t be described. We do not have sappy love songs playing in the back ground and we do not always wear the coolest clothes, have the best breath or say the perfect lines. But our love story is filled with gratitude, and true love that loves through the hurt and loves when it would be much easier to walk away and get out. It’s the kind of love that says “hey life stinks sometimes but we are in it together”. I can remember so vividly earlier this past fall, a couple months after we moved to Enterprise. I was sick, at this point neither one of my eyes would really open and I’m sure I physically looked nothing like the girl Blake thought he fell in love with. My attitude had started to get cranky because I was sick of being sick. I was trying a new diet and was determined to stick it out, in the mean time I was getting mean without all my good food! I was upset and worn out from worrying about my health. Slamming cabinets in our little kitchenette, I start fussing because I could not eat anything we had and I was starving! I look at Blake like a crazy person and start yelling about how hungry I am and how I just want meat and bread and real food! Then before I know it, I’m crying because I’m yelling at him. I’m so upset about whats going on with my body and I just keep telling him “I’m sorry because I’m sick and I’m taking it out on you”. Blake looks at me, hugs me and says “Hey, don’t apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for, we are in this together. I love you and I’m not going anywhere, go sit down and let me cook you something you can eat” He will probably never know how much that meant to me. It’s easy to forget 2 become 1 in marriage but Blake understood it. Those are the moments I remember now. The times that I know it would be so hard to make it without my sweet husband. God is always there but I firmly believe He also sends us people to love us and care for us in the physical and I’m so thankful for that gift. . 

As I do my best to dry my tears, I let them know I am ready to go. The doors open and my dad and I begin our journey. The large beautiful cross we placed in front of the church was a symbol of the greatest love ever known. Blake and I left our marriage at the foot of the cross, in Gods hands that day. As we read our own vows and the first kiss was given, a new chapter began...

          I remember thinking I will be able to breathe if we can just make it to 3 months, (before I was only given 2 1/2 months), 3 months came and went so fast. Then 4,5,6 months and now a year later, I still say “I will be able to breathe once we make it through...” Of course I had to marry military but I have realized when we put our faith in Him our lives are in Gods hands no matter our location or career. As I now must face the thought of a year long deployment, starting a family, health ect... I have to hold on to that. The challenges will always be there, some we see coming, some hit us in our blind spot but however they come, whenever they come, we serve an amazing God; who may not be seen, who is sometimes hard to hear and who usually never operates by our plan but I promise He is real, He is there and He will see us through in some way. 

So to my sweet Blake on this one year month, THANK YOU for everything. Thank you for allowing God to use you to teach me how to love and live. Thank you for helping me believe He still loves me and has a plan for my life. Thank you for loving me, working hard to provide and for being the spiritual leader of our home. Thank you for treating me like a queen all the time!=) Lastly, thank you for being patient as I have learned to be a wife and submit. I know it is not easy to eat nasty, burnt food or wear red clothes that are suppose to be white but that's what marriage is all about! haha! I'm still in training! LOVE You more than you will ever know! You are so amazing and you bring so much joy to my life!

God Bless, 
Leslie