The "Battle" has a new name, "Miles in the Middle"

          I just wanted to make a quick update post. I have been praying for some time for what name to give this blog. "The Battle" is truly how I felt when I first started blogging as my life is and was I felt a battle. We all are in a constant battle for our soul, ect.. I; however, have not been content with that name. I'm on the road much more than I would have ever chosen and if you read my post you can probably sense that much of my time with God is spent in my car, on the road, running up the miles in the middle of my destinations.
         On my way back to Fort Rucker yesterday, burning up those highways and back county roads, with my little side kick Weatherby (my dog); I was praying as I always do about which direction I should take, and that God would give me a name for this blog that would help with which ever direction he decides to take me down. I wanted a name that would not be down and depressing as the word "Battle" seems to be when I think of it but I also wanted something that would open the door for me to write on multiple things in life. As some of you may or may not know I'm extremely into fitness and athletics. Most of my life growing up my days consisted of, basketball, volleyball, track and in the good ole days, softball. I played as long as I can remember through school and I could write hundreds of post on the life lessons that I learned from sports. I love the team, the game and the dedication I learned. I love getting along and working with people and pushing through to a goal, to a win. Once I started college, I decided to leave my sports in high school and move to other things.
       Having a track history, I took up running and became a fitness instructor, teach spinning and core classes. I ran my first and only (as of right now)marathon with my Uncle Kevin in Disney World not long after I had moved back home. When thinking about those long runs, and workouts, the start is important yes, the finish is very important, but it's whats in the middle that determines how you finish. It's those miles in the middle that the bear jumps on your back and you either decide to push through and finish or stop and give up. To me life is much like this. There are so many things that go on between life and death that determine so much of our destiny. I remember Pastor Jerry Lawson speaking at the funeral of Allen and Justin and he said it's ""The Dash" that matters, the dash you see on a headstone between a birth date and a death date; it's what did we do in those years, in that dash that counts?"
        So in thinking of many things, I have decided to change this blog name to "Miles in the Middle" for now. Who knows I might leave it like this forever, or I might decide to change it again!=) Please share and continue to feel free to stop by and read any time as we discuss, those life lesson, hard times and good times we find ourselves in during the Miles in the Middle. Enjoy!

Now I lay me down to sleep...

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep....”

 These words have taught me how to pray, have helped me when the dark monster was coming after me in the night and the noises of silence haunted me. As I have grown I still find when I whisper my own silent prayers I always seem to mouth  “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep” and then I go on to my "grown up" prayer I guess you could call it. It’s funny that some how over the years I have managed to forget the exact words to the rest of that prayer. I can some what remember it so I used the amazing tool google and found what the rest of that prayer said and the many, many versions of these “night night” prayers as I always called them. Some go on to say “should I die before the night, I pray the Lord my soul to take." others say “that Angels watch me through the night and keep me safe till morning light”; I believe this is the one I said the most.

  These simple prayers have provided comfort, peace and hope through the dark. As an adult, my dark has become darker and the monster has became a reality as the demonic forces long to attack the children of God. But we serve a God that will not allow this. This morning I woke up and while getting ready for church I was thinking about how silly I still am about my night night prayers. It has become one of mine and Blake’s most sacred times. He is so patient and sweet that he waits on me to wash my face and go through my ridiculously long regiment of getting ready for bed, and then we have our time with God together, finishing our day with prayer and communication with our heavenly father. I will admit Blake gets offended because sometimes I fall asleep when he has a lot on his mind to talk with Jesus about and I’m sure he does the same to me and simply wakes up to catch me say amen. I used to always feel so bad because I would sometimes fall asleep when saying my prayers but as I was thinking this morning about my relationships in life and my relationship with God, He showed me a little something. 

As long as I can remember one of my favorite memories growing up were the times before bed that I would spend with my parents. I can remember my dad saying “come on girl, come get your arm” which was his arm. As I would lay there we would talk and talk. We have had the silliest conversations to the conversations parents never want to have with their children; as I had moved back home as a widow and the nights and evil thoughts haunted me while my life appeared to be the nightmare I could never escape. Even my brother loved hanging out and talking at night, I can remember as kids we always wanted to be together. I had my own room but I can remember more nights in his top bunk bed and him on the bottom bunk than I can remember in my own bed and even as we grew up he would come and talk to me when he got in most nights. We talked about everything and looking back, those memories, those conversations and those giggles are worth so much to me. The night before Allen and Justin went to be with our Father, he stood in our earthly parents room after my dad cut his hair and he did just like he had done so many nights, he talked and talked to my parents. From what they said he did not seem to care he had to get up at the crack of dawn the next morning, he was just so excited about life and was so full of life. He was a married man so these times naturally did not happen as much but they meant and mean now so much to my parents. As life goes on we move out and those conversations at night may not always happen as much. Sadly, I realize for many children  these sweet moments and conversations never happen and they go to bed only speaking to siblings or no one at all  because the parents are not home. The stresses of the economic pressure have them working or they simply do not realize that each and every moment with a child is a gift from God. 

As I thought about my time with God at night I thought about all of this, and I realized not for the first time that I have been so very blessed. I also came back to the fact that I had forgotten the words to the once memorized prayer. I came to the realization that I had probably forgotten it because I fell asleep before I got to the next verse.oops! lol. Thinking back on all the nights I have found myself not able to sleep as Satan still to this day attempts to torment me with negative thoughts when I close my eyes, when everything goes silent, and the dark comes. Every  single one of the nights all have the same thing in common; I crawled into my heavenly fathers arms like a big baby running from night time monsters and talked out my problems, my fears and my worries. I gave them to him to fight and to carry. I prayed and stayed in his arms until he rocked me right on to sleep with his peace and grace. When I finally awoke, the night was over and joy had come in the morning. 

While I think about the stresses of life and I watch as this world and nation drift further and further away from the one true God, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior; I know that others I’m sure are being tormented just like I am. If you are not a believer or if you are, you may not even realize what is happening, but the devil is real and he is working over time because he knows his time is short. Please know that even if you don’t know your earthly father, you don’t have a relationship with him or whatever the case may be that we still have a great big Father out there that wants a personal relationship with you and with each and everyone of us! He wants to hold us in his arms and cover us in his peace. He wants us to run to him when things get dark and life gets hard, and at the same time he wants us to talk to him when things are going great and we are just simply thankful for everything he is doing.

         God has shown me so much this past year and has revealed so much to me as Blake and I have had to search for a church home while we are at Fort Rucker and  I’ll just tell you it has been hard! But I believe people have complicated Christianity and having a relationship with Christ. Yes, I firmly believe the road to Heaven is narrow but I believe that it is still a very simple process. God wants and desires a very REAL, authentic relationship with his children, he wants us to talk about everything in our life, and when we mess up and screw up, he wants us to come to him and let him fix it. I also believe he desires from us real thanksgiving and real worship. As we worship and spend time with him, he fixes everything else because we realize how completely amazing he is and we learn that we want to be just like him! Have you ever met someone that just really made an impression on you and you thought "this person has it all"? They seem to have it all together and you just wish you could be like them. I know that may sound cheesy to some but everyone does this. We watch Hollywood or I am guilty of looking at other women who appear so beautiful, like they have it all together; beautiful family, sweet,  love God and just an all around great person. Don’t get me wrong I believe God puts some amazing people in our lives to be great role models so to speak, and honestly I have a lot of Godly women and people I look up to, but really, really, more than I should look to others, I should look to God! I should study his word and desire to be like him! He sets the standard of perfection and the more we study and learn how he handles situations, how he loves and he offers peace, the more we desire to be like him. Let me be clear, we will never achieve perfection! We will never be him or his equal and we will never be worthy of his love but that's when he offers grace and love beyond comprehension. And just like it meant so much to my parents when Allen and I would spend time and communicate with them, just like it means so much to any person and any real relationship when we communicate; It means even more to our Heavenly Father, King of Kings and Holy God! 

          There’s a beautiful song we sing at the church we attend here in Enterprise. It has really challenged me and I believe it is a great example of how God wants our relationship with him to be. I wish you could hear it put to music but the words in themselves are beautiful and so true.

“ You said seek and you’ll find,

 So I’ll come running after you;

 You said stay for a while

 I’ll reveal my heart to you; 

I love, I love, I love to bring you praise, 

I love, I love, I love to bring you praise 

with all I am... 

You said pray and not cease; 

so to your cross I bow my knee

 you said ask and receive,

 As you speak your will to me;

 I long, I long, I long to see your face,

 I long, long, I long to see you face 

With all I am....

 So I will love you, There’s none above you, 

You are my everything ,

 So I will love you, There’s none beside you, 

You take my breath away....”

           I challenge you this week to spend a little time with God. As you lay down, shut your eyes and your list of to dos, bills to pay, deadlines to meet, kids events, projects, deployments, health problems, sickness in a love one, marital problems, relationship problems, and even death of a loved one may flood your thoughts, Satan may try to use these against you. He would love for us to drown in fear and worry or suffocate in our problems.  It's so easy to get away from these attacks and if you don't know what else to say and your heart is too broken, start small, be real and be transparent. God does not require us to have a fancy prayer with words we never use in real life. A simple prayer while laying in bed can put your mind to rest and bring peace to your soul more than you ever imagined. Yes, there are times, many times we have to learn to put on our boxing gloves and go to war against Satan as we allow God to teach us to become that prayer warrior, but we have to start somewhere. I will leave you with this; Some may say it is wrong to fall asleep before finishing our nightly prayers. I think of it a couple of ways, first of all rest is a good thing and I believe when we let our bodies get physically weary we do not always think clearly and we set ourselves up for Satan's attacks. God speaks of rest many times in scripture and I believe it is one of the many ways he helps us. We think, listen and function much better after a good nights rest. Also I don’t have a child yet, but I imagine when I am blessed to have one of my own, that a very precious time will be when I hold them in my arms as they sleep. Unlike a child outgrows a parents arms and lap physically, we NEVER outgrow the arms of God! 
Have a blessed week!

Matthew 11:28-29

 “…Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 

Deuteronomy 33:27
The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. 

1 Coronicles 16:11

Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually.


Psalms 145:18-19
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.

Philippians 4:6
Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God.

1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray without ceasing.

The Real Swamp People

       It's that time of year again! Yep, you guessed it, GATOR SEASON! For those of you who are not familiar with the way things are done down here in the South; let me explain. We have two weekends dedicated to Gator Hunting in the month of August. The hunting must be done between 8pm and 6am. When I first was introduced to this wild hunting sport, I'm not going to lie, I was secretly terrified! Please do not misunderstand me I love a great adventure and I love hunting but the thought of going out in a bass boat in the pitch black night, to look for the biggest gators we could find sounded a little insane!
      Just to recap on a little history, the first time I had heard about this was the end of 2008. My dad is a thrill seeker, I honestly believe the only thing he really fears is God himself. To this day I still feel sorry for guys that wanted to date me when I was growing up! Guess that's why I only have had 2 serious relationships in my life, Justin and now Blake, they are brave men! =)  I say all of this to say that right after the accident in 2008 my dad started talking about how he wanted to go Alligator Hunting, it was something he had never done. I'm not sure how it is for others who have experienced tragedy but when things like that happen you want to hold on to memories while at the same time you want to escape the things that seem to always have a memory. So this escape, this something new for our family just happened to be hunting crazy huge, wild animals that could kill you with one bite! I was not shocked by this new adventure/near death experience my dad wanted to try out; however, I wondered how it could be done. He put in for a tag and soon learned that he had been drawn for this hunt! He was pretty pumped to say the least! Dad started gearing up and getting ready like he does for most hunts he takes but this was much different than others. As he would go out to look for the glaring red eyes every night in the boat, I too became curious about this game. Now I have to admit and I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I am a daddy's girl, and along with this I also take after his competitive side. I can not stand to be left out or to think I'm too "girlie" to take on a new challenge. So naturally his trusty side kick soon joined him, me!
         This season sadly does not take place in the cold but in the dead heat of summer, I always get countless bug bites and big dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep as we hunt all night. The first season of Gator Hunting on the night the monster was caught it was raining and I voted I would stay home out of the weather (yes, as Allen would have said I was being a sissy).My sister in law Jessica had also been joining us for some hunting. But that night we were both gone and from what I heard when my dad butt called me while he was on the boat with our Pastor and His other best friend, Ricky, they had the time of their life. I had yet to see an alligator caught so you can imagine the shock when I heard my dad tell his buddies, " Guys hold him still, he's not dead yet, let me jump down here in the water and cut his vertebrae with my knife!"Yes, those were the words I heard!WILD!        

         The next year came along and Jessica and I were determined we would get our chance. Can you believe we both drew gator tags! We talked to so many people who had been putting in for years and could not get drawn. As we giggled our way in the line with tons of burly men, we picked up our tags and took our seats at the briefing we had to attend. We were so excited! I think we deep down thought our guys would be proud of us for sticking together and for also doing something they would have been so pumped to do themselves. We loaded in the boat for year two of gator hunting. We hunted so hard but my dad was determined he wanted us to have the trophy gators, so nothing was a keeper. The last night we had to hunt rolled around as we wondered how in the world are we going to get not one but two gators in one night! To our surprise we did it! I honestly feel like God gave them to us! We snatched the first one up so easy and moved right on to the second. They were huge, both about 10-12 feet long. We loaded them in the back of Blake's truck and then onto the boat. Thinking we were pretty cool and still being silly girls, we took tons of pictures with these animals. We called ourselves the gator girls, although we knew without my dad and Mr. Ricky we wouldn't have gotten a single thing....

       Yes, there was a year three of Gator hunting! This time Blake and I drew tags.Yep, we were on our first adventure as newlyweds, how romantic! We hunted and hunted for these things but Blake's tag was in the Delta and my tag was in West Central Alabama. We caught a good one in the Delta but it was not as big as we hoped so we let him go and moved on to a new location. Still just as exciting we loaded up the boat, put our head lights on our heads, bug goggles on and prayers for safety into action to hit these swamps.

      We never would have caught this gator if I had a say because I was a nervous wreck! Before we had always been in open water, maybe some brush but I could always see the downtown Mobile lights, but not here. Nope, all we had was the natural light from the moon and stars and trust me, there was nothing romantic about it! As we were moving along we came across many red eyes. You see when an alligators eyes are very wide apart, that tells you their size, the length can be found in the distance from the eyes to the tip of the nose. 
      Well we saw the eyes we had been looking for and Dad and Blake soon found a little cove; which I assume was his home! Now the other times were fun but this topped my books for near death hunting adventures! We have the entire thing on video and soon we hope to make a nice clip I will post. Since this was my tag my dad wanted me to have the great duty of hitting him with the bang stick once he was to the boat. Nervous, praying the whole time and also arguing with my dad that he should just do it, I took the gun and eventually attempted to pop the gator right behind the head only to find, he did not die! The gun did not go off! I just ticked him off! I handed the stick to my dad and basically jumped to the middle of the boat, leaving my dad to take care of himself  (not that I would have been very much help anyways). Blake was yelling "get back there, you can do this!", I believe I tried one more time, and some how the gator was still in the same place, but not dead! Dad tried, again, nothing! It still had not gone off but this time the gator knew something was not right, he threw his tail in the air as he pulled our lines in the water with him! Our rods flew in the water and 2 hooks I believe were some how left in him as his jaws came chomping back at the boat right by my dads foot! This, what appeared to be a dinosaur went down under the dark water as dad and Blake kept saying "hold on to him, don't let him loose" while I'm thinking "Are we crazy? Lets get the heck out of here before we die!" the fear and excitement all in one was about to bust out of me! My thoughts were "how can we catch this thing with no way to kill him?". We soon realized the bang stick had a tiny rock in it. As we got our things together, we were back in the game and soon this bad boy was back to the boat. I allowed dad the honors to pop him in the back of the head this time. With just Blake, Dad and I; we somehow managed to load this 511lb beast on the bass boat and head back to weigh in! We felt we were on top of the world!

        

         There are so many details to these hunting experiences that I could write a book simply on our gator hunts. This short description in no way does justice to the fun, excitement and memories we have made and had on our little adventures down here in South Alabama.
        As I always believe, God allows things to happen. I believe He gave us those memories. God knows just what we need and knows that sometimes we just need a little change, excitement and fun in life. Through the hurt it is hard to imagine but deep down I know God loves to see His children smile. I think that when our hearts break, His breaks  for us as well; while on the other hand, I also believe, when we smile, God smiles back. I like to think that on these adventure when we are out in the wild with all of Gods amazing and yes scary creations that I am so close to him. It could possibly be my prayers for survival =) but when I am up close and personal with his work of art I can feel and hear him so clearly!

       So although this year was not year 4 for our gator season, maybe next year will be and if not I'm so thankful God reached in and drew our name. Yes, He cares about things like that; to a family like mine whose world appeared to be falling apart, being picked for a simple hunt meant much more than the game we were hunting, it meant that we were still living, that we were still moving forward and that we could learn to make new memories even as we hold on to our other cherished memories. Thank you God for thinking of us even in the small things.

Good Luck Alabama Gator Hunters of 2012!!

God Bless

Our Warrior

          How many times does God have to tell us to trust and lean on him until we finally do? I sometimes think how patient God must be to constantly wait on me and remind me of the same things over and over.... He has our life in His hands, He has our future, our health, our careers, our finances, and our families in His hands. He knows just what is going to happen and He knows just when Satan's attacks will come. He knows that without His strength we will not make it. I can't imagine how many times I break my Fathers heart when I search for answers else where, or when I worry myself sick because my trust is lacking... I can't imagine how He desires for me to look to Him for ALL of my answers. Although I know we find our strength when we come to Him, distractions come in and pull us away, making us vulnerable to the enemies attacks. 

         I can not express how important it is for us to recognize when the enemy attacks and how important it is when that terrible demon and liar, from the very pits of hell comes to us and tries to over take us, our lives and our faith! He attacks Gods people every day, every min, every second and there can be no shelter found to get away from this demon! Our answers will not be found and our problems will never dissapear with the use of a drink or bottle, there is not a single drug that can make us forget or get away; we can run as far and as fast as we want, we can move across the country, start a new life with not a single familiar face but that will not keep us from the attacks of Satan. A physical army does not exist to protect us from this enemy. There is only one escape, there is only one sword, there is only one army that protects us from this enemy. This army, this hero, this warrior, this sword can only be seen through faith. He can only be seen when we stop looking for our answers, for our shelter, for our hope, for our change in every thing else and we run straight to Him. He works to defend His people and His children like no other leader ever will or ever could. He is a warrior that fights our hardest battles; He is the one that fights our cancer, that fights divorce, that fights for families, battered women, homeless, orphans and widows. This amazing Warrior, Father, symbol of love fights for both Christians and for the people who have not yet found Him. This Warrior and true All mighty Leader is the one all people are in search of, He is the answer we all so desperately need and He is the only "change" there can or ever will be. 

           I have been so broken and just, pure angry at the enemy for everything that he has tried to do in my life and in my families lives. My heart breaks for people who do not see that we do not have to fight Satan on our own, we can't, we will lose every time. 

       A few weeks back, it was the night before I left to go to Honduras to do some missions; I  was driving back to Fort Rucker. I was not packed at all, I was making my mental list of things to do and out of nowhere my eyelid started to fall.  It was not nearly as bad as before but I had been praying, I had been teaming up with God and letting Him fight this for me and I honestly thought it was gone. I have had a remarkable turn around from what the Doctors have told me with Ocular Myasthenia and I have been so thankful for our Lords healing touch and power and for the prayer warriors He has placed in my life; But when my eye started drooping, I thought "oh no God! What have I done?" Beside the fact, I was exhausted, stressed, and had not been eating like I should or taking my meds like I should, I thought, "Oh no God, I have gotten back to this? I'm starting all over again, I thought this was gone?"  Then It was like He said "Leslie it is not what you have done wrong, but what you are doing right..." The devil is in such a race to take souls down with him, that he will do anything and the more we do for God and His Kingdom the harder the enemy works on us.  As the tears came down I began to pray out loud. I began to worship out loud and God went to war for me right there and then in my car. I was so mad at the devil, through Jesus name I let him have it! With every word I prayed to God I could just visualize God giving that stupid devil a right hook, or a knee to the gut. I had to make my mind up that I knew who and what I believed in.  How many individuals have had enough of  Satan's attacks? That is where I was! I was mad! I said out loud with confidence and faith praying "God there is nothing he can do to me to make me not serve you, there is no grief he can put me through, no threat to my health, there is NOTHING, NOTHING that will ever make me stop serving YOU! You are my God and that is it! Please fight this battle for me, get this evil thing away from me, away from my family and away from my life, We have had enough and He needs to know You have already won this war!" With that it was like peace came over me and I could visualize our great God just stomping on and leaving Satan face first in the dirt. I know that may sound silly to some and I'm sure we all visualize things differently, but I'm a visual person and I believe God paints these pictures to help me better understand His grace, strength, power and love! I know God loves me and He is constantly fighting for my life and for your life!

               When I think back on the wreck and see the picture that is forever painted in my mind I see the truck and I try not to allow myself to see my sweet Justin and Allen in that truck because it just hurts too much, the pain is too deep and the reality of this life is almost too much for me to bare; so I switch thoughts and then I picture the cross and not just a pretty cross that I have hanging in my house but a cross stained of blood. I sometimes imagine when I'm in my alone time with God that I am praying at the foot of the cross. I see the blood at the bottom, as I follow the blood that puddled and created a stream at the bottom of this cross, I follow the red stains up to the feet. As I see these feet and legs beaten, cuts  are filled with dirt and rocks where he stumbled while He was carrying that cross, the flesh is almost black now from all of the blood, as my eyes move up I see the gash in His side, as the blood flows, his ribs are almost piercing through His skin, as I follow his arms that are stretched out I see the enormous nails hammered through the same hands that touched so many faces, that healed and brought the dead to life and did so much more. When you really think about it, even more than the wreck of my loved ones it almost hurts too bad to go on, the pain placed on one person is just too much to imagine but then as I gaze up I see more blood dripping down this face and I see these huge thorns jabbed into this innocents mans head.. As I look past the blood stained face I can barely catch a glimpse of His eyes that see right through my heart, that see into my soul, that see every evil thought, that see every desire I could ever dream or want.. These eyes are my fathers eyes, that say "I love you this much Leslie, please do not let this be in vain, just come to me and I will carry all of this hurt for you, I will carry all the devils plots and temptations for you, just let me be your God, all you have to do is serve me and you will be with me when this is all over, in eternity" You see when I come to the cross of my father, I find encouragement, strength and purpose, as I can hear Him saying  " You are here for a reason, I know things don't seem fair and things don't add up but look to me and my heart, I would not hurt you, you are my child, I will bring you through this, It does not end here there is a story and picture you can not see or fathom". 

             When life gets too hard to bare some times, I think back and remind myself of all of the promises we have been given. I think about what Jesus did for not just me but for all of us and how great His love must be. At the same time what he went through on that cross can not be understood neither can his love!  
Thank you God for teaching me faithfulness, for loving me so much and for fighting all of my battles, big and small! 

2 Timothy 2 :11-13

     11.Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him, 12. if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; 13. if we are faithless. he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 3:11-13

       11. persecutions, sufferings-what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them. 12. In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13. while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 

Where is Our "Nation Under God?"

          Today I have an extremely heavy heart. I usually do when I write but today is different. God has given me such a burden for this subject or subjects that most likely will not be completed in 1 post. These are the subjects that cause friends to part, families to disagree and a country to split. Having said that I am very concerned with how I come across. I first must clear the air that I am a woman of very strong convictions. I feel God expects His children to be set apart (Romans 12:1, I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.) When we become Christians we become the home of Christ himself. Many of us have heard this in church but do we really understand what it means? I heard a pastor recently ask the question, "What is the #1 problem with Christians today?" I thought for a second and he said " You can not tell who they are". The very truth of this broke my heart because there is no way to deny it; which brings up another question, who really is a Christian? When we say a prayer but never turn from our ways... where truly is our heart for God? I could wonder off a long time about this subject but the details we can save for another day..These questions I ask my self daily and daily I am right back to a great fear of mine, that we have gotten so far from God, so far from the truth (scripture) that we are not even sure anymore what is right and what is wrong... oh the great absolute truth question comes into play! Many question this as well, I personally believe there is an absolute truth, there is an absolute black and white and most importantly there is a distinct good and evil. 

         Today, as 5pm came, I stood, watched and pledged with others as they pulled off the road to show their respect while the daily revelry was played here at Fort Rucker.  As I stood there many thoughts crossed my mind. For a while now I have been worried about our Nation but today I was so down about our countries current status that it almost got the best of me. My attitude was terrible and honestly I am still upset about where we are. Yes I have my own opinions about things but the thing that I feel we honestly need to take a real look at is right in the mirror, yes, ourselves. More than I am mad, my heart is crushed. As Americans we are spoiled, please understand that I know we have poverty and I know that just because we live in America it does not mean life it great, life is life no matter where we are. What I am saying is that if we were to visit other countries, we would see no one has it like we do! Our Government pays for more than it ever should, like I said we are spoiled.(and yet another topic for another day). What I have realized though, is that our priorities are very much out of order. We appear to be so lost as a nation that we have gotten our focus off of what IS important and what the problems are and we focus on things that to be perfectly honest are not the real issues. I believe it was last week, I was out and about and it seemed like at every cash register there was a jar to take up money and support some sort of animal shelter, or animal foundation... At first I thought awe poor puppies and kitties, Yes I LOVE my animals and every time I go to Pet Smart I make sure to donate; when I was younger and even today I will take in any stray that comes up but seriously, when we have more support for the battered animals than the murdered innocent babies,. our issues run much deeper....
        Today we live in a time when our moral compass appears to be completely broken. We support people, foundations and groups that are pulling our country so far from what we were founded on, the Bible. We now have decisions being made that will impact this country for ever; decisions that if you consider yourself  a Christian you should be very broken hearted about. Yes, it is a difficult subject and I never want to offend anyone but the fact is, no one seems to care if we as Christians are offended. I know many think we are all about love and acceptance but in these days we must take a stand for something and when we do people are going to disagree, they are going to get hurt and they are going to get mad. Heck, I would venture to say we will most likely be called mean and narrow minded.  Coming from someone who wants to keep the peace and always keep everyone happy, I deep down know that it's okay and does not matter what others say when it comes to the convictions my Lord has laid on my heart; at the end of it all there is only one opinion that matters. I want to encourage and challenge us all to get up to date, to know what we believe and why we believe it and to find someone that lines up with our beliefs as much as possible and support them 110%. The days we live in are crazy and call for us to stand up. Protestors are everywhere. protesting our soldiers funerals, protesting for certain rights they want passed and much more, so what will we stand up for as children of God? Will we be passive bystanders that never help lead others in the right direction or will we sincerely take an interest in this country and think about a time when we are long gone.... what will we do when things do not end like we thought or when Christ holds off on coming back for a while? Will our children grow up in a better world or will we leave this earth in so much confusion that we never see our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren make eternity because we forgot the name of Jesus Christ and what He stood for? I am in constant prayer over our nation and I encourage you to do the same. Pray for our leaders, that they will see the way our country should go and that God will direct them to make the right decisions. Pray for our nations future and lastly pray that we will be used as the body of believers for whatever God calls us to.. There is strength in numbers and I believe it is time for the Body of Christ to form up.
      "Pour out your wrath on the nations that do not acknowledge you, on the peoples who do not call on your name" Jeremiah 10:25 
 I pray that we are not that nation..


God Bless and God Bless America,


Leslie

  

A Year With My Best Friend

“Forever You will stand, Your Kingdom has no end. Oh Holy God, I stay amazed, You are so much more than words could ever say, Oh Holy God I pour out my praise on the one who never ceases to amaze me.” 

Grasping with a death grip on my dads hand and the other holding a beautiful bouquet, I ran my thumb over the sweetest face; Allen’s picture was tied to my bouquet.... I'm still speechless when I think back on that moment. Looking down at his picture, brought so many emotions. As my intro and cue to go in, came, the tears wouldn’t stop. The journey I had been through to get to this point had been so hard. It wasn’t the fairy tale I had known before. No, this time I realized life happens and it doesn’t follow our plans. No one ask our permission before the really hard times hit, they just hit. In the middle of all of this I also realized just how fragile, short and valuable our lives are. I realize more than ever how important it is to show people we love them and never take one single phone call, conversation, kiss or hug for granted.  

Blake is so special and valuable to me. I realize what an absolute true gift from God he honestly is. I was blessed with such a special marriage before. I knew God had blessed me with that gift but it was almost like I did not realize just how special it was until it was taken from me. Sad that’s how life works. I can remember so many nights I would just lay awake,alone and pray God would direct my life. I honestly never thought I would love again and if I did I thought it would just be almost like a replacement that would never be the same. I soon realized and knew I would not be happy with that and if God ever wanted me with someone then they would have to be so special and different that I could never compare. I also realized that when Blake walked into my life it was unlike anything I could explain. God put the interest, the love and the relationship we had into motion. I learned that when I fell in love with Blake that my past did not hurt or hinder our relationship but the journey and road I had been traveling is what made it all so special.  

         The love I had been given before was such a blessing; I now know what it is like to lose that gift and that someone to be with; someone to share inside jokes, silly laughs and countless stories with. More than anything I realize how very rare that relationship and love is. When God sent Blake my way I had grown up quick and had learned much more than I would have ever liked to have learned at such a young age. After going through everything with Justin and Allen I now am able to see the blessings more clearly that God places in our paths. No, what Blake and I have is not a fairy tale but even more, it is a real life love story. One with heart ache, awkward silent times, and feelings that sometimes have no explanation and can’t be described. We do not have sappy love songs playing in the back ground and we do not always wear the coolest clothes, have the best breath or say the perfect lines. But our love story is filled with gratitude, and true love that loves through the hurt and loves when it would be much easier to walk away and get out. It’s the kind of love that says “hey life stinks sometimes but we are in it together”. I can remember so vividly earlier this past fall, a couple months after we moved to Enterprise. I was sick, at this point neither one of my eyes would really open and I’m sure I physically looked nothing like the girl Blake thought he fell in love with. My attitude had started to get cranky because I was sick of being sick. I was trying a new diet and was determined to stick it out, in the mean time I was getting mean without all my good food! I was upset and worn out from worrying about my health. Slamming cabinets in our little kitchenette, I start fussing because I could not eat anything we had and I was starving! I look at Blake like a crazy person and start yelling about how hungry I am and how I just want meat and bread and real food! Then before I know it, I’m crying because I’m yelling at him. I’m so upset about whats going on with my body and I just keep telling him “I’m sorry because I’m sick and I’m taking it out on you”. Blake looks at me, hugs me and says “Hey, don’t apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for, we are in this together. I love you and I’m not going anywhere, go sit down and let me cook you something you can eat” He will probably never know how much that meant to me. It’s easy to forget 2 become 1 in marriage but Blake understood it. Those are the moments I remember now. The times that I know it would be so hard to make it without my sweet husband. God is always there but I firmly believe He also sends us people to love us and care for us in the physical and I’m so thankful for that gift. . 

As I do my best to dry my tears, I let them know I am ready to go. The doors open and my dad and I begin our journey. The large beautiful cross we placed in front of the church was a symbol of the greatest love ever known. Blake and I left our marriage at the foot of the cross, in Gods hands that day. As we read our own vows and the first kiss was given, a new chapter began...

          I remember thinking I will be able to breathe if we can just make it to 3 months, (before I was only given 2 1/2 months), 3 months came and went so fast. Then 4,5,6 months and now a year later, I still say “I will be able to breathe once we make it through...” Of course I had to marry military but I have realized when we put our faith in Him our lives are in Gods hands no matter our location or career. As I now must face the thought of a year long deployment, starting a family, health ect... I have to hold on to that. The challenges will always be there, some we see coming, some hit us in our blind spot but however they come, whenever they come, we serve an amazing God; who may not be seen, who is sometimes hard to hear and who usually never operates by our plan but I promise He is real, He is there and He will see us through in some way. 

So to my sweet Blake on this one year month, THANK YOU for everything. Thank you for allowing God to use you to teach me how to love and live. Thank you for helping me believe He still loves me and has a plan for my life. Thank you for loving me, working hard to provide and for being the spiritual leader of our home. Thank you for treating me like a queen all the time!=) Lastly, thank you for being patient as I have learned to be a wife and submit. I know it is not easy to eat nasty, burnt food or wear red clothes that are suppose to be white but that's what marriage is all about! haha! I'm still in training! LOVE You more than you will ever know! You are so amazing and you bring so much joy to my life!

God Bless, 
Leslie 

So This is Flight School!! (update on how Blake is doing)

         

                As most of you know Blake and I are now living in Enterprise, Al. Blake is in flight school here at Fort Rucker. Since we moved here things have not slowed down and time has flown by. This is my first experience and taste of what military life is like...I’m not going to lie, some days I don’t like it at all and other days I love it and think it is so cool!

I just wanted to give everyone an update on how Blake is doing in flight school. We moved here at the end of August and he really got started in September.  He started with BOLOC-B which is officer training, basically class, a lot of class. They also had combatives which is hand to hand combat. He then went on to dunker school. During dunker they are taught what to do and what it would somewhat be like if they were to crash in the water. They are buckled into a seat of a cockpit, from there they are dropped into the water and flipped upside down. This teaches them how to keep everything under control, breathe, unbuckle and get out of the helicopter while still under water. This to me would be terrible because water goes up the nose every time; however, Blake got through it with no problems! 

Then came SERE!!!! There is a lot to be said for this four letter word so I’ll start off by saying that it stands for Survive, Evade, Resist, Escape. I am not allowed to tell everything that I may know about this training and Blake was not allowed to tell me everything he went through. Basically it is the torture chamber of training. Supposedly it is some of the best but hardest training many ever go through. The main point is that the soldiers are released and expected to survive in the wild on their own and at some point they are caught... from here everything goes down hill for them and that is all that can be said about that. Blake left for this at the end of October and I picked him up 3 weeks later just in time for Thanksgiving. I missed him soooo much! He was not allowed to call home so we were not able to talk for those three weeks. Everyday I would wonder what he was doing, or what he would look like when I picked him up. I wondered if he would have black eyes and busted lips with bruises all over him. My heart broke for him and what they may be doing to him so I had to constantly remind myself that he signed up for this.... Maybe it’s his background in baseball and sports but Blake is great about not letting things get to him. He realizes his goal and he does what is necessary to meet that goal. They told all the wives that our husbands would probably be really strange, withdrawn and stinky when they got back! When the day finally came for me to get to see him after those long three weeks of no communication, Needless to say I was ecstatic to pick him! He look just as handsome as he did when he left and looked completely normal all except for his funny mustache he had grown! He was so sweet, it was almost like we were nervous about what to say and how to act.. I was so happy he finished that training and I know it only made him stronger.

Blake is now in IERW which stands for Initial Entry Rotary Wing in the TH-67 helicopter. Here he is basically learning how to fly the aircraft. This is the real thing!! He had his Nickel Ride this past Friday (January 27th) the day before his birthday! They went up in the helicopter with his stick partner(training partner) and IP (instructor pilot). He said it was awesome and that it was much harder than it looked. Blake's days consist of flying half of the day, then class until the end of the day then back home for more studying. This past week he was up at 3:15am, he had what they call freedom flight aka morning flights. He then was in the classroom the rest of the day. This coming week he will have class in the morning and flights in the afternoon, they alternate it every week.

After this He will learn instruments then BWS, basic war fighting skills in the Kiowa helicopter. Lastly, flight school 21 Blackhawk!!  Blake has worked very hard to get to this point and I’m so proud of him and how he has allowed God to guide his life.

This is a very stressful but also exciting time of our lives and especially for him. Flying is one of the most mentally and physically draining things one can do. They are learning so much, so fast and honestly their lives depend on them when they are in the cockpit. There is no time to drift off or zone out. Focus and determination are vital for Blake every day. He has done excellent and gives 110% everyday. I just wanted to let all of his friends and family know exactly how and what he has been doing. I hope that all of this was not too "military lingo" I tried to make it make sense to those of us who may not know all of the abbreviations! Please continue to pray for his safety and my sanity. Thank you all so much for all of the support and prayers through this time.He is so excited about this adventure God has allowed him to be a part of. Everyday is just such a blessing! God bless!

Whats going on with all the post =)

So........ just wanted to let everyone know I'm not crazy or depressed!! haha!! I'm just trying to get all of my blogs together. I had a blog before but somehow lost my password, no surprise! Now I'm just trying to get everything combined and organized. Feel free to read anything. Many of the "newer" post are actually older but they were wrote during some very trying times and I felt they did not need to be left out. Hope to get writing more and I'm trying to get this book thing going. Please keep me in your prayers as I seek Gods direction in which way to go, how to start and what words to write.... I have so many thoughts in my mind and it's SOOOO hard to get my own thoughts even organized! Thank you all so much for your love, prayers and support through everything. The Internet is a tool. We can allow the devil to use it or we can allow God to use it. I'm choosing to allow God to use it as a ministry for my life and I graciously thank you all for the encouragement! Have a blessed day!
Love,
Leslie

Power in Praise, Part 1 (written July 16, 2010)

       “I will exalt you, you are my God. My hiding place my safe refuge, my treasure Lord you are, my friend and king, anointed one, most Holy”. “The wonder of your love will break the chains that bind us, the power of your touch releases us to worship, sing unto God. Sing hallelujah, with all we are we will worship You.” These words are anointed and sung by the wonderful group Hillsong. The power of worship is amazing. I never truly understood the power in praise until I could not do anything else. It was the lowest place I have ever been in my life and when I think back on that day and the emotions that I felt, I know even more that it is only by the power of God that I am able to live. It was the funeral of two great men in my life. Holding my sister in laws hand, we walked down the same aisle that we both had walked down just months before to give our hearts to the men of our life. Now, gasping for air we walked as if going to battle, back down that aisle to celebrate those two same wonderful men we fell so in love with. The spirit of God was like a blanket that came and lay over every person in that church. My uncle was singing a song that had been prepared but never sang, the words were beautiful; “ You awaken my heart from slumbering, you lead me in mourning and you speak to my grief… I trust that every moments in your hands, You’re the God of my days, King of my nights, Lord of my laughter, Sovereign in sorrow, You’re the Prince of praise, the love of my life, You never leave me, You are faithful, God of my days. My eyes are You, my hope is in You, my faith is in You.” As we sang this song it was truly a cry for help, although I believed those words with everything in me, I was not strong enough to pray them much less think of them myself. 

       When I fully submitted to God and recognized the power of His mighty hand I simply closed my eyes and all I could do was cry.. God knew my heart, He knew that if I had the strength to say those words I would, but as I listened to them, I grew stronger. I began to realize that I had no other choice but to trust that EVERY moment, happy or sad was in His hands. I knew that He was truly sovereign through my sorrow and that He would NEVER leave me. No longer were my eyes on my problems but my eyes, hope and faith were on Him, and by that, they were on His will, His plan for my life, His purpose and His eternal love. To have faith when your world is shattered feels like your standing in the middle of a war zone with blinders on. It doesn’t make sense to anyone and most of the times not even to ourselves; however, God puts’ His spirit in us when we come to Him and He gives us the strength. 

        As I began to believe these words I lifted my hands and sang to Him with everything in me. The burden I was carrying was lifted off of me like a ton of bricks, the worry I had was no longer mine, I was in full submission to God. I recognized I was too weak to make it on my own and that I didn’t know what was going on or how He could allow this to happen to my family; but by putting my thoughts aside and giving it to God my life has been changed. It has allowed Him to use his spirit to speak to me when other times I get too busy to listen.
        Four days later I was standing in a high school auditorium waiting to speak, as we sang the words “I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on and there will be an end to these struggles but until that day comes, still I will praise You, still I will praise You! Singing, Oh no. You never let go through the calm and through the storm, oh no You never let go, every high and every low, oh no You never let go, Lord You never let go of me”. I once again came back to that same spirit of worship. As I stood there I thought about all of my plans, all of the things Justin and I was planning to do and had done. I thought about Allen and his plans and all the times we had shared together, then I thought about Gods plans. I thought about how I can never go to the beach with them again and how I can never go hunting or to the movies or to get ice cream with either of them, ever again. Then so clear I heard “ but Leslie you can still worship with them,” if you cant do anything else with them, what better thing to do than come into our Lords presence and join with them to worship.
         Every time I hear those words I picture Justin sitting on our couch in our tiny apartment singing that song and just worshipping with a smile on his face, right there in our living room. And every time I think about it my heart gets so full. So to me praise has taken on a new meaning. I do not believe it’s simply just an act or something we are suppose to do, but for me it is a means of survival. Still to this day it is my air when I’m drowning. I still have those awful days, not sure if they ever go away. I have my moments when all I do is cry and I know what I need to do. I get in my car, most of the time it is my "alone place", blare my worship music and sing and praise God, as He draws me into His sweet spirit I begin to cry because I am so unworthy but at the same time I am so thankful he knows exactly how to speak to my soul. I let the Lord take me in, where I can feel His embrace and get completely lost in Him. I cry and sometimes even as I sing I believe that the devil would like nothing more than to make my speakers bust or to let the phone ring. Sometimes, we have to turn the speaker down and WE have to sing louder. I sing sometimes in a way that I’m proving the devil wrong. When we praise, the devil can’t stand it, He gets furious because he realizes he has not won. The devil tries his best to hurt us, make us mad at God, and to make us turn our backs on Him, but when we don’t and we still remain faithful it drives him crazy. When you finally get to that place where the world could be falling down around you, but you want to stay right where you are because you do not want to lose that spirit and comfort God provides; It is amazing and that is where the healing takes place, that is where God is able to come in and clear our minds and speak to us. Many times it may feel like we are in a marathon for our life, but just know that He is there to be our water, our strength and one day when we cross that finish line He will be right there cheering us on, saying “WELL DONE ” and I even imagine a big high five!

" May God himself, The God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together-spirit, soul, and body- and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 5:23 MSG

March 15 2010

If I were to write a love letter
To the one who holds my heart,
It would never end
And new chapters would always start.

A walk down memory lane,
would be a walk down the streets of gold.
There would be no more pain
As you have my life to have and to hold.

I want so bad to touch you.
I want to feel you here
and at times you seem so distant
But your spirits always near.

The nights seem to never end
And the days seem so alone.
I long for the day I’ll see you
And I am called home.

My heart will never hurt again
And the tears will disappear.
Ill understand the way
And no longer have any fear.

Ill know why you had to leave
And why you could not stay.

Ill see every life that was changed
And all the souls that were saved.
Ill see all the mended families
And the ones who’s way was paved.

Ill see the honor in your eyes
And the love you came to be,
And then I’ll realize
I could never love you, nearly as much as you love me.

Ill see all my faults and failures
And the times I lost my way
And the times I came running back
Just to hear you say;

“It was all worth it in the end
And I’ll love you everyday.
When you can’t take another step
Ill carry you all the way.

There’s nothing you can ever do
to change the love
That runs so deep and true.
It was bought with a price and shed with my blood.

I’ll love you until the end of time,
Where you will see my view
And I promise, your world WILL have rhyme.

Where every key and every note
Will be formed and fashioned
To be the most beautiful song ever wrote.

I will be waiting here for you,
When your time on earth has past.
After all that you go through
Eternity will forever last.

You’ll feel my embrace
And at that moment you’ll know
Your sins are forever erased.”

I think back on that two lane road
And the hurt comes flooding in.
Where the brokenness that was found there
Can’t be describe or wrote with a pen.

And now theres two small crosses
And a heart carved in a tree,
Where two love stories came to an end on this earth
But in Heaven will forever be.

But on that hill
There were three crosses
And one that stood for all;
To carry all my burdens
And help me when I fall.

To love me when no one else can
To touch my heart
and take my hand.

He comforts me on days like this,
As I cry and need him now.
He knows I do not understand
Or see why or how;

He could take someone I love so much
Who could finish my every sentence
And melt me with his touch.

He was my soul mate from the start
As we laughed and talked for hours
And prayed we would never part

But there is one who knows me,
Even better than I know myself;
Who has a perfect plan from above,
That was sealed with a kiss and sent with his love.

So until that day comes
And I fall at your feet,
My heart will be yours
With every step and every beat.

I’ll praise you all through the day
No matter where I go or what I do
In my heart you will forever stay.

From the moment I walked down the aisle to become your bride
Through the hurt and the pain,
You have remained faithfully by my side.
And I will never be the same.

So now, to you my love I send.
Please hear me now;
My God, Redeemer and Best Friend

Let him know how much I love him,
And miss every second of the day.
Tell him I may get lost at times
But I promise to find my way....

Today Justin and I would have been married 2 years. What a Journey God has taken us on, but I know that in His time we will be together again.
With Love,
Leslie

The Letter (written June 3, 2008)

This is the letter I wrote for my husband (Justin Bedsole) and brother (Allen West) funeral. The accident happened on May 30, 2008, and The funeral was held on June 3, 2008. I am once again amazed by our gracious Lord. The words of this letter I feel are God given. When I was weak and had no words, he gave me strength and wrote his words in my heart. I pray this letter reaches in your heart and portrays how we can still have Faith, that God knows what He is doing even when it makes no sense to us; Hope, that through our most troubled times God is working everything out and He still has a plan for our lives; and Love, when we feel we have nothing left to offer....

Funeral letter from Leslie

      In these times of heart ach and sadness, I cannot comprehend how a non Christian could get from one day to the next. When me and my brother were playing in the woods, going hunting together and making up silly songs, I never would have believed something like this could happen to my family and I. He loved life and loved people. Most of all he loved God. I remember the day I truly believe Allen fell in love with Jessica. He called me and I could hear it in his voice as he shared his feelings about her to me. They have a wonderful amazing love story. His feelings for Jessica were feeling of true happiness, passion and love.
      When we least expect things, God does a little something to make us realize He is still there and in control. When I look back on Justin and Allen’s lives I now can almost see the picture beginning to unfold. I am reminded of ALL the things God allowed to happen; and though I do not like it and will always wonder why He chose to do it like this, I know everything is all a part of a wonderful plan.
      On November 13, 1986 a wonderful boy was brought into this world and at that time God knew what he would face in life. He knew that he would surrender his life to Him. In all of this he blessed Justin with wonderful parents to help guide him, and also parents that He knew would be strong enough to endure this tragedy. He knew that these parents would not turn their backs on Him, but would thank him for having him the time they did. God instilled in Justin love, hard work, and most of all a heart that could be molded. Justin like Allen was dedicated in this very church, Pathway. Little did these wonderful sets of parents realize when they gave their sons back to God and said “you gave him to me, now I give him back to you” that God would use them to change and impact thousands of lives. In all of this turmoil and sadness it its such an amazing peace I have because I know they are Gods children.
       When Justin and I went on our first date it was amazing and I just knew he was special. He had the most amazing heart, and I soon realized he was everything I could ever want in a man. He was the most honest person I have ever met. He clicked with my family, and I always knew when it was the right person, everything was going to be perfect and it was. We dated a few more years and when he decided to pop the question I remember he called my dad and said “Mr. Gary we need to talk” my dad got off the phone and said “Leslie do you know what he wants to talk to me about? If he asks me to marry you do you want me to say yes or no?” I said “Yes, I know he is the one… you told me to find a man that worked hard, loved me and most of all loved God, what more could I want?” We were engaged on May 26, 2007, and we were married on March 15, 2008. I remember when we began to help with the youth, Justin started feeling this amazing call on his life. I can not begin to describe the feelings I felt when he would say “Leslie I keep reading the Bible and trying to figure out what it is and I just don’t know, and it scares me.” God was tugging at his heart. I remember him telling me “I just keep praying that God will close doors that need to be closed and open doors that need to be opened. It was almost a year ago when I finally remember Justin telling me he knew God wanted him in the ministry, and he said “I have given it ALL over to God and I told Him I would do WHATEVER, He needed me to do.” But he was so scared of what he was going to have to do. See he knew it was something special, something he could not comprehend or understand, but he was willing to do what he had to.
        I never could have imagined such a tragedy. I will never forget our time together. I am so blessed and honored to marry Justin. He was the greatest blessing I could have ever asked for. When Justin prayed “God use me, close doors and open doors” He never would have believed this was the way he was going to have to do it. God our wonderful Father closed this door here on earth for all to see and witness but then he opened a door beyond all comprehension for Justin and Allen to walk through. Justin did not realize this was what God was trying to get him to and this is how he was going to be used. I know that if he knew the influence and the way people have changed their lives; he and Allen both would do it all over again.          One of my favorite quotes is “A True Love Story has no Ending” the last place Justin and I traveled to together was paradise on earth and I can not explain the excitement I feel when I think about walking the streets of gold to see him in our one true paradise. He was so wonderful to me, the best husband I could have ever asked for. I never knew it was possible to love someone the way I love him. Every time I want them to come back to me it's like God says “but Leslie they are so happy now!” and that makes me smile a smile I did not even know was there.

In love that only our Lord and Savior can understand,
Leslie