The Letter (written June 3, 2008)

This is the letter I wrote for my husband (Justin Bedsole) and brother (Allen West) funeral. The accident happened on May 30, 2008, and The funeral was held on June 3, 2008. I am once again amazed by our gracious Lord. The words of this letter I feel are God given. When I was weak and had no words, he gave me strength and wrote his words in my heart. I pray this letter reaches in your heart and portrays how we can still have Faith, that God knows what He is doing even when it makes no sense to us; Hope, that through our most troubled times God is working everything out and He still has a plan for our lives; and Love, when we feel we have nothing left to offer....

Funeral letter from Leslie

      In these times of heart ach and sadness, I cannot comprehend how a non Christian could get from one day to the next. When me and my brother were playing in the woods, going hunting together and making up silly songs, I never would have believed something like this could happen to my family and I. He loved life and loved people. Most of all he loved God. I remember the day I truly believe Allen fell in love with Jessica. He called me and I could hear it in his voice as he shared his feelings about her to me. They have a wonderful amazing love story. His feelings for Jessica were feeling of true happiness, passion and love.
      When we least expect things, God does a little something to make us realize He is still there and in control. When I look back on Justin and Allen’s lives I now can almost see the picture beginning to unfold. I am reminded of ALL the things God allowed to happen; and though I do not like it and will always wonder why He chose to do it like this, I know everything is all a part of a wonderful plan.
      On November 13, 1986 a wonderful boy was brought into this world and at that time God knew what he would face in life. He knew that he would surrender his life to Him. In all of this he blessed Justin with wonderful parents to help guide him, and also parents that He knew would be strong enough to endure this tragedy. He knew that these parents would not turn their backs on Him, but would thank him for having him the time they did. God instilled in Justin love, hard work, and most of all a heart that could be molded. Justin like Allen was dedicated in this very church, Pathway. Little did these wonderful sets of parents realize when they gave their sons back to God and said “you gave him to me, now I give him back to you” that God would use them to change and impact thousands of lives. In all of this turmoil and sadness it its such an amazing peace I have because I know they are Gods children.
       When Justin and I went on our first date it was amazing and I just knew he was special. He had the most amazing heart, and I soon realized he was everything I could ever want in a man. He was the most honest person I have ever met. He clicked with my family, and I always knew when it was the right person, everything was going to be perfect and it was. We dated a few more years and when he decided to pop the question I remember he called my dad and said “Mr. Gary we need to talk” my dad got off the phone and said “Leslie do you know what he wants to talk to me about? If he asks me to marry you do you want me to say yes or no?” I said “Yes, I know he is the one… you told me to find a man that worked hard, loved me and most of all loved God, what more could I want?” We were engaged on May 26, 2007, and we were married on March 15, 2008. I remember when we began to help with the youth, Justin started feeling this amazing call on his life. I can not begin to describe the feelings I felt when he would say “Leslie I keep reading the Bible and trying to figure out what it is and I just don’t know, and it scares me.” God was tugging at his heart. I remember him telling me “I just keep praying that God will close doors that need to be closed and open doors that need to be opened. It was almost a year ago when I finally remember Justin telling me he knew God wanted him in the ministry, and he said “I have given it ALL over to God and I told Him I would do WHATEVER, He needed me to do.” But he was so scared of what he was going to have to do. See he knew it was something special, something he could not comprehend or understand, but he was willing to do what he had to.
        I never could have imagined such a tragedy. I will never forget our time together. I am so blessed and honored to marry Justin. He was the greatest blessing I could have ever asked for. When Justin prayed “God use me, close doors and open doors” He never would have believed this was the way he was going to have to do it. God our wonderful Father closed this door here on earth for all to see and witness but then he opened a door beyond all comprehension for Justin and Allen to walk through. Justin did not realize this was what God was trying to get him to and this is how he was going to be used. I know that if he knew the influence and the way people have changed their lives; he and Allen both would do it all over again.          One of my favorite quotes is “A True Love Story has no Ending” the last place Justin and I traveled to together was paradise on earth and I can not explain the excitement I feel when I think about walking the streets of gold to see him in our one true paradise. He was so wonderful to me, the best husband I could have ever asked for. I never knew it was possible to love someone the way I love him. Every time I want them to come back to me it's like God says “but Leslie they are so happy now!” and that makes me smile a smile I did not even know was there.

In love that only our Lord and Savior can understand,
Leslie