So This is Flight School!! (update on how Blake is doing)

         

                As most of you know Blake and I are now living in Enterprise, Al. Blake is in flight school here at Fort Rucker. Since we moved here things have not slowed down and time has flown by. This is my first experience and taste of what military life is like...I’m not going to lie, some days I don’t like it at all and other days I love it and think it is so cool!

I just wanted to give everyone an update on how Blake is doing in flight school. We moved here at the end of August and he really got started in September.  He started with BOLOC-B which is officer training, basically class, a lot of class. They also had combatives which is hand to hand combat. He then went on to dunker school. During dunker they are taught what to do and what it would somewhat be like if they were to crash in the water. They are buckled into a seat of a cockpit, from there they are dropped into the water and flipped upside down. This teaches them how to keep everything under control, breathe, unbuckle and get out of the helicopter while still under water. This to me would be terrible because water goes up the nose every time; however, Blake got through it with no problems! 

Then came SERE!!!! There is a lot to be said for this four letter word so I’ll start off by saying that it stands for Survive, Evade, Resist, Escape. I am not allowed to tell everything that I may know about this training and Blake was not allowed to tell me everything he went through. Basically it is the torture chamber of training. Supposedly it is some of the best but hardest training many ever go through. The main point is that the soldiers are released and expected to survive in the wild on their own and at some point they are caught... from here everything goes down hill for them and that is all that can be said about that. Blake left for this at the end of October and I picked him up 3 weeks later just in time for Thanksgiving. I missed him soooo much! He was not allowed to call home so we were not able to talk for those three weeks. Everyday I would wonder what he was doing, or what he would look like when I picked him up. I wondered if he would have black eyes and busted lips with bruises all over him. My heart broke for him and what they may be doing to him so I had to constantly remind myself that he signed up for this.... Maybe it’s his background in baseball and sports but Blake is great about not letting things get to him. He realizes his goal and he does what is necessary to meet that goal. They told all the wives that our husbands would probably be really strange, withdrawn and stinky when they got back! When the day finally came for me to get to see him after those long three weeks of no communication, Needless to say I was ecstatic to pick him! He look just as handsome as he did when he left and looked completely normal all except for his funny mustache he had grown! He was so sweet, it was almost like we were nervous about what to say and how to act.. I was so happy he finished that training and I know it only made him stronger.

Blake is now in IERW which stands for Initial Entry Rotary Wing in the TH-67 helicopter. Here he is basically learning how to fly the aircraft. This is the real thing!! He had his Nickel Ride this past Friday (January 27th) the day before his birthday! They went up in the helicopter with his stick partner(training partner) and IP (instructor pilot). He said it was awesome and that it was much harder than it looked. Blake's days consist of flying half of the day, then class until the end of the day then back home for more studying. This past week he was up at 3:15am, he had what they call freedom flight aka morning flights. He then was in the classroom the rest of the day. This coming week he will have class in the morning and flights in the afternoon, they alternate it every week.

After this He will learn instruments then BWS, basic war fighting skills in the Kiowa helicopter. Lastly, flight school 21 Blackhawk!!  Blake has worked very hard to get to this point and I’m so proud of him and how he has allowed God to guide his life.

This is a very stressful but also exciting time of our lives and especially for him. Flying is one of the most mentally and physically draining things one can do. They are learning so much, so fast and honestly their lives depend on them when they are in the cockpit. There is no time to drift off or zone out. Focus and determination are vital for Blake every day. He has done excellent and gives 110% everyday. I just wanted to let all of his friends and family know exactly how and what he has been doing. I hope that all of this was not too "military lingo" I tried to make it make sense to those of us who may not know all of the abbreviations! Please continue to pray for his safety and my sanity. Thank you all so much for all of the support and prayers through this time.He is so excited about this adventure God has allowed him to be a part of. Everyday is just such a blessing! God bless!

Whats going on with all the post =)

So........ just wanted to let everyone know I'm not crazy or depressed!! haha!! I'm just trying to get all of my blogs together. I had a blog before but somehow lost my password, no surprise! Now I'm just trying to get everything combined and organized. Feel free to read anything. Many of the "newer" post are actually older but they were wrote during some very trying times and I felt they did not need to be left out. Hope to get writing more and I'm trying to get this book thing going. Please keep me in your prayers as I seek Gods direction in which way to go, how to start and what words to write.... I have so many thoughts in my mind and it's SOOOO hard to get my own thoughts even organized! Thank you all so much for your love, prayers and support through everything. The Internet is a tool. We can allow the devil to use it or we can allow God to use it. I'm choosing to allow God to use it as a ministry for my life and I graciously thank you all for the encouragement! Have a blessed day!
Love,
Leslie

Power in Praise, Part 1 (written July 16, 2010)

       “I will exalt you, you are my God. My hiding place my safe refuge, my treasure Lord you are, my friend and king, anointed one, most Holy”. “The wonder of your love will break the chains that bind us, the power of your touch releases us to worship, sing unto God. Sing hallelujah, with all we are we will worship You.” These words are anointed and sung by the wonderful group Hillsong. The power of worship is amazing. I never truly understood the power in praise until I could not do anything else. It was the lowest place I have ever been in my life and when I think back on that day and the emotions that I felt, I know even more that it is only by the power of God that I am able to live. It was the funeral of two great men in my life. Holding my sister in laws hand, we walked down the same aisle that we both had walked down just months before to give our hearts to the men of our life. Now, gasping for air we walked as if going to battle, back down that aisle to celebrate those two same wonderful men we fell so in love with. The spirit of God was like a blanket that came and lay over every person in that church. My uncle was singing a song that had been prepared but never sang, the words were beautiful; “ You awaken my heart from slumbering, you lead me in mourning and you speak to my grief… I trust that every moments in your hands, You’re the God of my days, King of my nights, Lord of my laughter, Sovereign in sorrow, You’re the Prince of praise, the love of my life, You never leave me, You are faithful, God of my days. My eyes are You, my hope is in You, my faith is in You.” As we sang this song it was truly a cry for help, although I believed those words with everything in me, I was not strong enough to pray them much less think of them myself. 

       When I fully submitted to God and recognized the power of His mighty hand I simply closed my eyes and all I could do was cry.. God knew my heart, He knew that if I had the strength to say those words I would, but as I listened to them, I grew stronger. I began to realize that I had no other choice but to trust that EVERY moment, happy or sad was in His hands. I knew that He was truly sovereign through my sorrow and that He would NEVER leave me. No longer were my eyes on my problems but my eyes, hope and faith were on Him, and by that, they were on His will, His plan for my life, His purpose and His eternal love. To have faith when your world is shattered feels like your standing in the middle of a war zone with blinders on. It doesn’t make sense to anyone and most of the times not even to ourselves; however, God puts’ His spirit in us when we come to Him and He gives us the strength. 

        As I began to believe these words I lifted my hands and sang to Him with everything in me. The burden I was carrying was lifted off of me like a ton of bricks, the worry I had was no longer mine, I was in full submission to God. I recognized I was too weak to make it on my own and that I didn’t know what was going on or how He could allow this to happen to my family; but by putting my thoughts aside and giving it to God my life has been changed. It has allowed Him to use his spirit to speak to me when other times I get too busy to listen.
        Four days later I was standing in a high school auditorium waiting to speak, as we sang the words “I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on and there will be an end to these struggles but until that day comes, still I will praise You, still I will praise You! Singing, Oh no. You never let go through the calm and through the storm, oh no You never let go, every high and every low, oh no You never let go, Lord You never let go of me”. I once again came back to that same spirit of worship. As I stood there I thought about all of my plans, all of the things Justin and I was planning to do and had done. I thought about Allen and his plans and all the times we had shared together, then I thought about Gods plans. I thought about how I can never go to the beach with them again and how I can never go hunting or to the movies or to get ice cream with either of them, ever again. Then so clear I heard “ but Leslie you can still worship with them,” if you cant do anything else with them, what better thing to do than come into our Lords presence and join with them to worship.
         Every time I hear those words I picture Justin sitting on our couch in our tiny apartment singing that song and just worshipping with a smile on his face, right there in our living room. And every time I think about it my heart gets so full. So to me praise has taken on a new meaning. I do not believe it’s simply just an act or something we are suppose to do, but for me it is a means of survival. Still to this day it is my air when I’m drowning. I still have those awful days, not sure if they ever go away. I have my moments when all I do is cry and I know what I need to do. I get in my car, most of the time it is my "alone place", blare my worship music and sing and praise God, as He draws me into His sweet spirit I begin to cry because I am so unworthy but at the same time I am so thankful he knows exactly how to speak to my soul. I let the Lord take me in, where I can feel His embrace and get completely lost in Him. I cry and sometimes even as I sing I believe that the devil would like nothing more than to make my speakers bust or to let the phone ring. Sometimes, we have to turn the speaker down and WE have to sing louder. I sing sometimes in a way that I’m proving the devil wrong. When we praise, the devil can’t stand it, He gets furious because he realizes he has not won. The devil tries his best to hurt us, make us mad at God, and to make us turn our backs on Him, but when we don’t and we still remain faithful it drives him crazy. When you finally get to that place where the world could be falling down around you, but you want to stay right where you are because you do not want to lose that spirit and comfort God provides; It is amazing and that is where the healing takes place, that is where God is able to come in and clear our minds and speak to us. Many times it may feel like we are in a marathon for our life, but just know that He is there to be our water, our strength and one day when we cross that finish line He will be right there cheering us on, saying “WELL DONE ” and I even imagine a big high five!

" May God himself, The God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together-spirit, soul, and body- and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ."
1 Thessalonians 5:23 MSG

March 15 2010

If I were to write a love letter
To the one who holds my heart,
It would never end
And new chapters would always start.

A walk down memory lane,
would be a walk down the streets of gold.
There would be no more pain
As you have my life to have and to hold.

I want so bad to touch you.
I want to feel you here
and at times you seem so distant
But your spirits always near.

The nights seem to never end
And the days seem so alone.
I long for the day I’ll see you
And I am called home.

My heart will never hurt again
And the tears will disappear.
Ill understand the way
And no longer have any fear.

Ill know why you had to leave
And why you could not stay.

Ill see every life that was changed
And all the souls that were saved.
Ill see all the mended families
And the ones who’s way was paved.

Ill see the honor in your eyes
And the love you came to be,
And then I’ll realize
I could never love you, nearly as much as you love me.

Ill see all my faults and failures
And the times I lost my way
And the times I came running back
Just to hear you say;

“It was all worth it in the end
And I’ll love you everyday.
When you can’t take another step
Ill carry you all the way.

There’s nothing you can ever do
to change the love
That runs so deep and true.
It was bought with a price and shed with my blood.

I’ll love you until the end of time,
Where you will see my view
And I promise, your world WILL have rhyme.

Where every key and every note
Will be formed and fashioned
To be the most beautiful song ever wrote.

I will be waiting here for you,
When your time on earth has past.
After all that you go through
Eternity will forever last.

You’ll feel my embrace
And at that moment you’ll know
Your sins are forever erased.”

I think back on that two lane road
And the hurt comes flooding in.
Where the brokenness that was found there
Can’t be describe or wrote with a pen.

And now theres two small crosses
And a heart carved in a tree,
Where two love stories came to an end on this earth
But in Heaven will forever be.

But on that hill
There were three crosses
And one that stood for all;
To carry all my burdens
And help me when I fall.

To love me when no one else can
To touch my heart
and take my hand.

He comforts me on days like this,
As I cry and need him now.
He knows I do not understand
Or see why or how;

He could take someone I love so much
Who could finish my every sentence
And melt me with his touch.

He was my soul mate from the start
As we laughed and talked for hours
And prayed we would never part

But there is one who knows me,
Even better than I know myself;
Who has a perfect plan from above,
That was sealed with a kiss and sent with his love.

So until that day comes
And I fall at your feet,
My heart will be yours
With every step and every beat.

I’ll praise you all through the day
No matter where I go or what I do
In my heart you will forever stay.

From the moment I walked down the aisle to become your bride
Through the hurt and the pain,
You have remained faithfully by my side.
And I will never be the same.

So now, to you my love I send.
Please hear me now;
My God, Redeemer and Best Friend

Let him know how much I love him,
And miss every second of the day.
Tell him I may get lost at times
But I promise to find my way....

Today Justin and I would have been married 2 years. What a Journey God has taken us on, but I know that in His time we will be together again.
With Love,
Leslie

The Letter (written June 3, 2008)

This is the letter I wrote for my husband (Justin Bedsole) and brother (Allen West) funeral. The accident happened on May 30, 2008, and The funeral was held on June 3, 2008. I am once again amazed by our gracious Lord. The words of this letter I feel are God given. When I was weak and had no words, he gave me strength and wrote his words in my heart. I pray this letter reaches in your heart and portrays how we can still have Faith, that God knows what He is doing even when it makes no sense to us; Hope, that through our most troubled times God is working everything out and He still has a plan for our lives; and Love, when we feel we have nothing left to offer....

Funeral letter from Leslie

      In these times of heart ach and sadness, I cannot comprehend how a non Christian could get from one day to the next. When me and my brother were playing in the woods, going hunting together and making up silly songs, I never would have believed something like this could happen to my family and I. He loved life and loved people. Most of all he loved God. I remember the day I truly believe Allen fell in love with Jessica. He called me and I could hear it in his voice as he shared his feelings about her to me. They have a wonderful amazing love story. His feelings for Jessica were feeling of true happiness, passion and love.
      When we least expect things, God does a little something to make us realize He is still there and in control. When I look back on Justin and Allen’s lives I now can almost see the picture beginning to unfold. I am reminded of ALL the things God allowed to happen; and though I do not like it and will always wonder why He chose to do it like this, I know everything is all a part of a wonderful plan.
      On November 13, 1986 a wonderful boy was brought into this world and at that time God knew what he would face in life. He knew that he would surrender his life to Him. In all of this he blessed Justin with wonderful parents to help guide him, and also parents that He knew would be strong enough to endure this tragedy. He knew that these parents would not turn their backs on Him, but would thank him for having him the time they did. God instilled in Justin love, hard work, and most of all a heart that could be molded. Justin like Allen was dedicated in this very church, Pathway. Little did these wonderful sets of parents realize when they gave their sons back to God and said “you gave him to me, now I give him back to you” that God would use them to change and impact thousands of lives. In all of this turmoil and sadness it its such an amazing peace I have because I know they are Gods children.
       When Justin and I went on our first date it was amazing and I just knew he was special. He had the most amazing heart, and I soon realized he was everything I could ever want in a man. He was the most honest person I have ever met. He clicked with my family, and I always knew when it was the right person, everything was going to be perfect and it was. We dated a few more years and when he decided to pop the question I remember he called my dad and said “Mr. Gary we need to talk” my dad got off the phone and said “Leslie do you know what he wants to talk to me about? If he asks me to marry you do you want me to say yes or no?” I said “Yes, I know he is the one… you told me to find a man that worked hard, loved me and most of all loved God, what more could I want?” We were engaged on May 26, 2007, and we were married on March 15, 2008. I remember when we began to help with the youth, Justin started feeling this amazing call on his life. I can not begin to describe the feelings I felt when he would say “Leslie I keep reading the Bible and trying to figure out what it is and I just don’t know, and it scares me.” God was tugging at his heart. I remember him telling me “I just keep praying that God will close doors that need to be closed and open doors that need to be opened. It was almost a year ago when I finally remember Justin telling me he knew God wanted him in the ministry, and he said “I have given it ALL over to God and I told Him I would do WHATEVER, He needed me to do.” But he was so scared of what he was going to have to do. See he knew it was something special, something he could not comprehend or understand, but he was willing to do what he had to.
        I never could have imagined such a tragedy. I will never forget our time together. I am so blessed and honored to marry Justin. He was the greatest blessing I could have ever asked for. When Justin prayed “God use me, close doors and open doors” He never would have believed this was the way he was going to have to do it. God our wonderful Father closed this door here on earth for all to see and witness but then he opened a door beyond all comprehension for Justin and Allen to walk through. Justin did not realize this was what God was trying to get him to and this is how he was going to be used. I know that if he knew the influence and the way people have changed their lives; he and Allen both would do it all over again.          One of my favorite quotes is “A True Love Story has no Ending” the last place Justin and I traveled to together was paradise on earth and I can not explain the excitement I feel when I think about walking the streets of gold to see him in our one true paradise. He was so wonderful to me, the best husband I could have ever asked for. I never knew it was possible to love someone the way I love him. Every time I want them to come back to me it's like God says “but Leslie they are so happy now!” and that makes me smile a smile I did not even know was there.

In love that only our Lord and Savior can understand,
Leslie

May 30th 2009 (1 year)

       Wow! I can’t believe summer has come and gone so fast. Where did it go? School gets kicked off this week and once school starts the year seems to fly by! I have had an amazing summer. Its amazing how in the midst of our busy schedules, appointments, classes, stress and hurt God still manages to let us see the rays of sunshine, feel the warmth and embrace of his spirit, and smell his oh, so sweet aroma that covers this earth! I was blessed to take a few trips this summer that were amazing. I went on my first cruise at the beginning of the summer! My mother and father in law are great and were nice enough to take me. It was great! I have never laid out and ate so much in my life! It was a great time to bond and enjoy each others company. My sister in law Jenna is amazing! ;-) 
     A couple of weeks later, a day I dreaded for a year was quickly approaching. Like I said it’s amazing how fast time flies. It was May 30th. This is the year date of my husband and brothers deaths. Times like these you never know how you are going to feel or handle the situation. Although we know God can bring us through anything, our human flesh takes over sometimes and we just don’t know if we are going to make it another day. Thank God that He puts people in our life to carry and hold our hand every step of this crazy journey through life. I have been blessed with the most amazing friends a girl could ask for! As the date drew nearer, I had so many different emotions and feelings going on inside of my head and heart. At times I would feel so broken and tell myself “ok on that day I’m just going to sit in my room and cry all day.” Awful idea, I know. Other times I would tell myself I’m just going to be everyone’s support. This I have discovered is my weakness. I have the personality that I think I must “fix” everyone and help them. This can be great but when I don’t focus on letting “Leslie heal”, I’m of no use to any one else. But that was thought #2, I need to be home so I could be there for everyone else. Then thought #3 came in. Me and my best friends would take a trip together. My parents didn’t like this idea very much because it started off with me and my girl friends wanting to go to Tennessee and camp in a tent! Well first of all we have no clue how to even put a tent up, secondly, we could get eaten by something or killed by someone and thirdly, my parents naturally dreaded me driving on the roads on May 30th. But after many prayers and thoughts, I decided a trip was exactly what I need! I had never taken a trip with just my friends, all on our own. 
        We left on Wednesday, May 27th and drove to Nashville, Tn. We got dressed, went out and saw Blake Shelton out!! We were like little girls having a crush on a silly boy band! We secretly took pictures and ended up talking to his best friend. We got up the next day went to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which in Justin’s words would have been “So Awesome!” He was a HUGE George Strait and Johnny Cash fan. They now are a huge part of my music collection. We left from Nashville and drove to a little town called Benton, Tn. We stayed in the most beautiful cabin. I seriously could have stayed there forever. We were about 25 minutes from the Ocoee. So we drove up and went mountain biking in the national forest, kayaking on the Ocoee Lake and the last day (May 30th) rafted down the Ocoee! I loved every minute of it!

        The last time I went rafting down the Ocoee I was with Justin and the time before that I was with Allen. I can’t begin to put into words the peace God allows us to have at times, but it was as if they were there with me, having a blast. I can so vividly picture them laughing trying to throw me in the river. It seemed just when I was about to have a melt down I could here their voices saying “Leslie we taught you how to have fun! We taught you how to laugh and enjoy life, so enjoy it! Its okay to smile today, it’s okay to be simply okay and happy!” I will never forget that day and the words I know God allowed my spirit to hear. I had a peace I can’t describe. God also placed great Christian friends in my life, Amber and Natalie you girls were troopers! Thank you so much for going with me! God knows what we need and He knows when we need it. His timing is perfect! After all He invented time! 
         Needless to say a weekend that I dreaded turned out to be an amazing, life changing weekend! We were surrounded by Gods beautiful creation and nature. A wonderful past teacher used to tell me “Everything in the Natural reflects the Spiritual and everything in the Spiritual reflects the Natural” This is so true. The mountains, the river, the trees, the lake, the animals all reflect God and his perfection! If you ever have a chance to just take in His creation I promise it can be life changing! During this trip God taught me that although it was hard and terrible, He brought me through this past year and if I can make it this far, there is hope I can make it in the future! 

*Jeremiah 29:11* “For I know the plan I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” I hold true to these words!
Thanks Jerry! 

Food For Thought written August 5, 2009

      Today I had the opportunity to spend the entire day on the beach alone. I can only remember one other time that I have ever really gone to the beach and laid out all alone. I was able to watch the waves come in and crash on the shore and look up at the beautiful clear sky. I also saw a crazy woman running up and down the beach yelling "Everyone out of the water! There is a 6 foot shark in the water!!" I thought it was comical, I'm not sure if the shark was ever honestly spotted or not but as far as I could see everyone was running out of the water onto the beach because of this woman. I feel for the people who do not have the opportunity to go to the beach all the time. Putting all of this aside, during my time today I had the chance to just have some quiet time and boy was it nice!
       It may just be me, but in my Christian walk I have good and bad days. I have days where I have never been so close to God and I feel like he is attached at my hip but then I also have days that I have never felt so far from God, where I feel like I could pray one minute and do something so ungodly the next. (these times scare me); however I'm so thankful for His grace. It's amazing to me how sometimes when we just simply get away from life everything seems to become so clear! Most days my head drives me crazy because it never shuts up! Today and the past few days I have felt Gods presence surrounding me more than I have in a while. The sad fact is, He hasn’t changed He has always been there, I just allow my mind to become so clouded. I have been struggling over a year now with the entire concept of "why am I still here.. What is my purpose"?
       Tonight as I was coming home I looked up at the stars like I do many nights and every time I look up I can’t help but wonder how far "they" are from me. I can’t help but question everything that exists as I know it and I can't help but question everything from beginning to end, known and unknown. Maybe I should not be admitting all of this but I feel there are many others that do the exact same thing. As I question, I begin to feel bad for second guessing everything. I then realize God created us to wonder and question and that very fact, that I was "created", is answer enough to so many of my questions. It is at that point the faith begins to take over.
      I have realized more than ever in the last year that as much as I wish I could get in some peoples hearts and let them feel what I feel sometimes, this is not possible. I want others to realize and value their life and what a GIFT (meaning,loan from God) it is! I want them to understand how quick it can all pass by. The truth is they will never know how I feel; Just like I may not understand them. As I gaze at the stars I often ask and wonder "where exactly are they, how many miles, how many layers of atmospheres, how many galaxies, or how many light years are they away.????" These questions I wonder daily and daily I still can not comprehend all of Gods creation. Daily I’m still told "No, you can't see them yet.”. I never would have believed I would wake up and think "Will I get to see them today? will today be the day?" but I do.. I can’t help it. I think about it so much that it's like they are almost just in a distant country; I even forget sometime that I must die to see them. I know this is all crazy but what I have realized is that this thinking of "will today be the day?" should be all of our mind sets, the sad fact remains that it isn’t. Life comes in and we get distracted......
         One of the hardest things for me through the healing process is that I find myself not being able to understand most people my own age. This is simply because of what I have been through. Many 22 year olds think of themselves as just young kids in college, there to have a great time. I am different, I am a 22 year old widow.. something you think of more for an 80 year old woman. I have a hard time with this, it has made it very hard to understand God, it seems so unfair to me. A favorite song of mine states…”I made you promises a thousand times, I try to hear from Heaven but I talk the whole time, I think I made you too small, I never feared you at all, if you touched my face would I know you? Looked into my eyes could I behold you? What do I know of you, who spoke me into motion, where have I even stood, but the shore along your ocean? Are you fire are furry? Are you sacred? Are you beautiful? So what do I know, what do I know of Holly?” This song is truly how I feel.. I thought I had God somewhat figured out but now I realize I could NEVER come close to figuring Him out and that is perfectly okay. He is still my God, He is still my Father and He is still who I choose to put my trust in.
            Beth Moore said something the other day that really hit home with me. She said "You can not amputate your history from your destiny" I catch myself wanting to be like others, I wish I could have that carefree thinking like life is just fair and about being happy all the time .. I soon realize the truth. I can not pretend I haven’t been dealt the life I have or that I am simply normal. I must realize that life is not fair and that I will not always be happy... I have to realize that my history, the story of my husband and my brother is now my story.. I can't run from it, I can't keep thinking I’m going to wake up and this is all going to have been a dream.. I feel it is my duty and the least I can do to use my history "their" history to fulfill my destiny.. Just food for thought, what is your history that will lead you to your destiny?? 
Be Blessed!